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It all started back in February of 2015

It all started back in February of 2015. He messaged me early one morning, and I woke up to it. So, I messaged him back. We talked the rest of the morning, until he went to bed. He mentioned that he likes Game of Thrones and I said I had never seen it. He suggested I go over and we watch it sometime. I asked my mom, she was skeptical and said it was okay -as long as nothing happened between me and him. So Saturday, February 28, rolls around and he picked me up from my parents’ at about noon. We stopped by Walmart, got a pizza. Then picked up GTA 5 from GameStop. We went to his house and the whole way there he was groping me, and trying to get me to touch his groin. I protested, but he kept at it… So, I went along. We got to his house (well, his mom’s house) and we turn on Game of Thrones. We get through the first episode, then we have sex. Then, we both fall asleep. We wake up, and he sets me up on GTA. I play that for a while. He makes the pizza, we eat, have sex, shower, then he takes me home.
We continue this for 6 weeks (on Saturdays except a couple).
Then, April 2nd, I was sitting at the usual table my friends and I usually sit when my friend, Sarah, starts telling me about this guy her sister is having breakfast with. She pulled up his Facebook profile and it was him. I was shocked, and hurt. I deleted everything I had of him. I didn’t talk to him for a week until he offered to meet up and talk about it. Originally, he told me nothing had happened between them. However, my friend was telling me he took her kayak shopping, and he showed her his horses. Then, she told me that they watched Netflix together— I wasn’t that stupid. When we met up to talk about it, it was April 9th – I remember because it was a few days before my 18th birthday. Birthdays are always tragic days for me… Anyways, he confessed that they did have sex, and I broke it off with him.
I didn’t hear from him, until around June. I had gotten a job at the local Meijer and was working about the same schedule as him. We both worked thirds. So, he tells me he misses me and he wants to meet for breakfast. So, I meet with him. I get back together with him… (Stupidly, I know). During this time I develop strong feelings towards him. I think it was love. That’s what I called it. I started imagining what a life with him would be like… It didn’t help that there was a pregnancy scare during this time, but he never knew.
I started noticing things at that point. Like, there were times when he would get rough. I always passed it off as playful, especially since there were no bruises. One day, I got off work and he was waiting for an appointment. He wanted to get together while he waited, so he picked me up and we went to Walmart. Sitting in the parking lot, I realized all he wanted was “dirty stuff”. I was sick of it. So, after he dropped me off. I blocked him from my phone and Facebook. Then, I fell asleep. I missed him, but I had other things to do. I focused on getting ready for college and on my job.
After a week of being in school, I receive a message from him. He had been thinking of me and wanted to get together… I said no, but after a couple more weeks had passed, he texted me. Again, wanting to get together for breakfast… it was always breakfast. I said “yes.” So, at breakfast I made sure I was clear. I’m looking for a solid relationship. No games. No “talking”. He was in the process of moving out of his mom’s house and into an apartment. That was a good sign. So, we picked up where we left off (but with more boundaries). Well…
My brother dated this girl, named Trissa. She is one of my best friends. I go to her when with guy trouble. She and I would talk over some of the things he would do, and as we talked I realized that he was starting to show signs of potentially dangerous behavior. He would always be in contact with me. He would get nervous if I didn’t answer right away. He made dissenting remarks about my family – now that I look back, I see that it was to alienate me from them. He would say things about my dad smoking, which does bother me, but he would use it when he wanted me to stay with him. He would fault me for thing I had no control over. I was “walking too loudly” when I was carrying things into his apartment (my hands were full, and I couldn’t see where I was going. Like, really??). I was careless when after being up for 13 hours I bumped into the door with his dresser drawer. I was constantly apologizing, and was never myself. I could never sing to the radio with him. I was quiet and didn’t talk about things that I normally would. I talk with my family about political injustices and things I see in the news. I could never bring it up with him. I guess they were “too adult” for him. The last day I was with him. I was only allowed over for a little while before his other roommate got home from work. We did what we do best… but when he grabbed my butt, like he has done so many times before… but he NEVER left a bruise, until that last day. That was the final straw for me.
Now, as I’ve began to realize the pattern. He tries to get into my life. Only little things… like since I blocked him on Facebook, he found me on Twitter. He favorited photos from before we were back together. So, I blocked him on Twitter. Now, I don’t know what he’ll do next. My brother talked to him and told him to stay away… but I deleted the texts (against my better judgement). Now, there is nothing I can do. Except wait. Waiting is terrifying, paralyzing. I don’t think he’ll physically hurt me, but nothing is ever certain. People are unpredictable variables. They may follow a pattern, then change the pattern.
I’m posting this as a warning. Those who read this and find it similar to their situation please, do not delete anything. Back it up on an SD card, or Google, or SOMETHING. You never know when you may need it.
(Names have been changed for protection)

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