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Buying my first dress. I felt so sexy

Prom Queen

Dear diary,

I knew there would be a time when I had a couple of days with the house all by myself.  I counted the weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds until the very moment I was alone finally to be Kimmy!

I’ve always been a plan ahead type of person.  I wanted every detail to be just right so I could minimize risk, so I would do hours of research in my room, wearing panties and pretty lingerie, with the door closed of course, day dreaming about Kimmy’s next wild adventure.

I researched places to shop in a nearby town.  I noticed there was a wonderful mall with all the cute shops.  I noticed they had a Sephora.  I remembered the last time I was in one, the SA told me they did makeovers.

That sounded like fun!!  I called it and told them my situation.  I asked if they would accommodate me and they said “oh yeah come on in any time sweetie”.  Yay!!  Maybe I’ll do a little shopping after my consultation and makeover.

The day arrived and my family left me the house all alone!!!!!  Yay!  I freaking jumped out of my male clothes and into the shower where I did my beauty routine.  Shaving takes forever, but I love the feeling after.   I decided I’d go underdressed with cheekies (and a tuck) and a bra underneath sweats and an androgynous top (it leans more towards girly if anything).  Off I went with my girl jams blasting in my car!  Yay!!!

All along the way I was trying to calm myself down.  I was so nervous.  My body was vibrating as I pulled into the mall parking lot.  I sat in my car for like 10 minutes working up the courage to get out.  Oh why not! Lets do this girl!!  I got out and walked into the mall.  The place was crawling with people.  Fuck!  I almost walked out.  I was getting so intimidated by all the lovely ladies walking around in their high heels and cute clothes.  How could I compete?!  All I knew was that I wanted to be like one of them so bad.

I walked straight into Sephora with purpose.  There were lots of women in here.  I was looking at some of the products when a cute SA comes up to me as asked “can I help you with anything?”  “I was wondering if…… I… could…. get my makeup done here?” I asked bashfully.  “Absolutely!  Let me set you up over here”.  I followed her.  My heart was pounding out of my chest.  She took me over to the great gorgeous mirror and I sat down.  I can’t believe this is really happening!!!!!  AHHHH!!!  I asked for a natural face but a bold lip color.  She started with a little contouring to highlight my fem features.  I could see the other girls looking at me all interested like in the mirror.  The MUA was very professional and non-judgemental.  She was explaining to me what she was doing and what she was using.  Basically giving me all kinds of tips.  So much knowledge. All I know was that I felt absolutely fabulous getting my face all done from someone other than me.   It was so relaxing, feeling the soft brush over my face, hearing her voice explain things to me, the sound of the make up kits opening and closing.

I went in as just a guy with a hope to be a girl, to having that wish granted by this beautiful MUA.  I looked gorgeous and natural.  I’m not sure how she did it but my face looked flawless and my male features were masked.  She got my eyebrows to look a way I have never been able to.  My eyes!  Oh my my eyes popped in the reflection.  I was transformed physically and mentally.  I am so happy I did this!

I walked through the mall with my newly flawless face, passing by the stores, looking in their windows.  It was so fun to feel al girly and gift the gift of femininity to myself.  I passed by a fabulous store that had gorgeous formal gowns in the shop window.  They looked soooo so pretty I wanted to try some on, but I was unsure if they would let me.  I must have sat walked passed the store a few times before working up the courage to just get my girly ass in there and look around.  I felt like Alice in Wonderland.  Down the rabbit hole!  There were so many different style dresses I didn’t know where to begin.  I walked the aisles in awe of the beauty that hang before me.  All the beautiful colors, sequins, long cuts, leg slits, flowing fabric massages my eyes.  If there is a heaven girls, this is definitely close to it.

I saw some really cute prom dresses.  Ever since I was in high school, I’ve always wanted to wear a prom dress.  I am still young, but not that young any more, unfortunately and high school a a few years back.  So I perused the racks looking for a cute one to try on.  I would look up to see if the SA is paying any attention to me, but she seemed busy arranging things on the other side of the store.  Prom dresses are getting to be really skimpy these days but they looked so pretty.  One that caught my eye was a peach colored short sleeved illusion dress with radiant beaded lace accents and a sheer high neck illusion bodice that cascaded over the shoulders.  The skirt was short, A-line layered and flared out.  The material felt flatteringly feminine and I couldn’t wait to feel it against my soft smooth body.

“That is a really pretty one.”  the SA said out of nowhere.  I nearly jumped out of my skin from being ambushed like that.  “Would you like to try it on?”  She asked.  I have never been asked that before by an SA before.  “Y-yeah” I uttered with my best feminine mutter.  She took me to the back which is basically what I imagine my personal haven looks like.  It’s a big area with light blush pink color with golden accents.  It was brightly lit by an array of house lights and a big beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling.  So far I am the only one in here.  She drew the curtains to my personal fitting room.  It was a glorious site to behold.  There was a wonderfully framed full length mirror and an adorable little boudoir bench with a cute little chandelier hanging from above.

“I’ll be back for you in a bit honey,” she said as she closed the curtain on my masculinity.

Shit!  What am I going to do about my (lack of) breasts?  What was I going to do about my little thing hanging down below?  All these paranoid thoughts ran through my mind.  I took one look at the pretty little prom dress hanging on the wall and decided to throw caution to the wind.  My desire for dressing up over ruled my desire to be anonymous.  I slipped out of my pants and stepped into the dress.  It fit great, with a few parts that were maybe just a little tight and a little short (‘m not going to lie, I love tight and short btw), but overall, I loved it!! 😀  The feeling of the fabric was freeing.  I felt so absolutely feminine.  I could imagine walking into a ballroom with my hunky date holding my arm and being the center of attention.  My shaved legs looked stunning as well.  If only I had shoes!!  I sat at the seat, crossing my legs over and over, putting my knees together feeling the material with my hands over my body with my pink tippy toes on the touching the floor below.

I heard a knock.  “How are you doing in there sweetie?”  Her knock shocked me and I stood up.

“I love it!” I replied.  “Well… come on lets see it!”

I overheard some other girls come in the store while I was posing in the mirror.  Crap… I can’t go out like this! People will stare for sure!!  The fitting room area is a big open area that anyone can see if they’re browsing in the store

GULP!!!  Well, I came this far……..

I slid the curtain wide open slowly and stepped out into the open of the fitting area where the lovely SA awaited my fabulous début. I walked out trying not to make eye contact with anyone.  It was so nerve wrecking, but such an exciting moment, my shaved chest could barely contain the beat of my heart.  The SA brought me over to the big 6 panelled mirror at the end of the hall of the changing area.  Seeing my femme self walk (girly of course) towards the mirror was super surreal, especially when you multiply that with the fact that I am walking with someone.  Along the way, I passed an older woman, probably a mom, waiting for her daughter to find the right dress, sitting on one of those boudoir benches outside each room.  She gave me a nice long stare up and down.  I could tell she was still looking because I could see her head turn as I passed by in the reflection of the big mirror.  She must know something’s different about me.  I hoped she was just looking at the dress, either that or she clocked me.  The walk to the mirror seemed like an eternity.

“Here you are.  Now let’s take a look shall we?.”  She stood me up on a rounded step.  I felt like all the eyes in the store were on me, like I actually was the center of attention.  The lighting was just right, accentuating my newly painted feminine face. The dress sparkled in my eyes.  I felt so fabulous.  I gave the SA a little twirl.  “Mmmmhmmm It’s a fun dress isn’t it?”  “Yeah it’s so pretty.” I said.

“And when you get your hair all done and with a cute little heel you are going to be the girl of the hour.”  I was almost in tears!!!  “Thank you!” I told her.

“How does it fit?” she asked me.  “It fits great, maybe just a bit tight at the shoulders when I sit.” I told her. “So what is the occasion hon? Fancy party? A cute date? Prom?” she asked with a smile.  I lied.  I told her I was going to a formal party and wanted something elegant but youthful.  I told her something along the lines like “yeah and there’s going to be a red carpet with paparazzi and everything”.  “How fun!” she said.  “Hold right here hon I think I have just the dress.”

And she walked off, leaving me alone in all my feminine glory, to gaze upon myself in the 6 panelled mirror adjusting the dress.  Thoughts of me actually spending a lot of money for these dresses are running rampant in my pretty head.  I guess I’ll have to use credit!  I did a little turn to check myself out more.

She came back carrying a long formal gown.  She held it up against my body in front of the mirror.  It was a beautiful bold red gorgeous jersey gown with plunging sweetheart neckline and a side slit. The sleeves, shoulder straps and sides were embellished with rhinestone lace appliqué. The back had a double strap closure and there was even a modest train with a back zipper.  “C’mon let’s go get you in it!”  She encouraged.

She led me back to my changing room and closed the curtain.  “If you need any help just ask.  I’m going to be right out here.”

I unzipped the short dress and placed it on the hanger.  It was sad to take it off.  There I was, standing in my cute undies holding this red beauty in my arms.  It was complicated to get into.  I never worn a gown like this before.  I stepped into the dress, but I couldn’t clasp the back parts and had some trouble zipping it up.  I finally got one of the clasps to lock and was still having trouble with the zipper.  I needed help!! So I called her in.  I peeked my head out and tried to muster up an ahem. She looked at me.  “I think I need help…” I uttered shyly.

“Oh I see…”  She said.  Crap!! what did she see?  Was I untucked??  There I was, feeling half naked with the back of my bra and straps all out, unzipped with my little leopard print cheekies saying meowing.  “You’re going to need to wear different underwear with this dress girl. Also, no bra.  Let’s get that off you and see how it fits without it.”  Gulp!!!  Fuck!! what am I gona do girls?!?!?!?  She unclasps the dress backing and folds it down and waits for me to unclasp my bra.  My heart is beating so fast.  I felt like I’m having an out of body experience.  There was no where to go from here.  I undo the bra in the back but hold on to my forms and bra over my chest.  “Um…. I-I don’t know how to say this but…. I’m transgender…”  I said.  That was the first time I ever said those words aloud to anyone.  It was freeing to just say it.  “Oh that’s ok sweetie!” she said with a big smile.  “Now let’s get you zipped in this beauty.” And she clasped me in and zipped me up.  It fit like a glove.  So sexy, mature, empowering.  I loved it!!!!  I couldn’t stop posing in the mirror!!  I loved seeing my leg peek out from the side slit too.

“Let’s see you walk in it”.  She led me out to the open floor and I walked with my head high.

I walked out of there with large credit card bill too.  I bought both dresses!!!

Now, where am I going to hide these babies?

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