This is only an entry of my diary.
Monday, May 16th, 2016.
I don’t know if I’m still depressed or if I’m somehow over it! But I do know that when everything fell apart I lost myself in the chaos..!
Me and my dad are still not talking..well not directly at least! Well it’s not just my dad that I’ve lost contact with…I’ve lost contact with my friends in college also but that’s only because of our busy schedules! Remember the guy I told you about, the guy I had a crush on..my colleague. Well as you just read I said “had” because it’s over! He changed. And I tried I swear I did..but with all that I’m going through I couldn’t do it anymore! It was like trying to revive the dead ! I know that’s a weird example but it’s true! His feelings are dead! And no matter how hard I tried it was pointless and tiring! Maybe I’m not the one who’s supposed to revive them. Anyway I’m done trying. It’s over for me. I will no longer be the one that falls for people and try to get them, instead I will be the one that others fall for. I’m done trying, I’m living for others, I’m done trying to put smiles on others’ faces and my own face is all covered in tears. Yes I know that you might think I’m being selfish but I really don’t care! I’ve had enough and it’s time for me to live. To be happy. To shine and be successful.
Right now my head is a mess! I’m confused about a lot of things and a lot of people in my life…I’ve lost my own identity! I don’t know who I am anymore! But the only thing that I’m sure of is college and my dream. So I’ll focus on that for now. And in the summer I’ll build myself up again.