So here it is, I NEED ADVICE…big or small.

I don’t really know what my problem is or if it’s just too much for me to figure out. I don’t know how to solve it. Maybe it can lessen if I share it here.

I’m a student and I’m 16 years old. I’m not an American and English is not my first, or main, language. My problem is that I’m too shy to speak using English and it lowers my self confidence because I’m scared that if I make a mistake (particularly in grammar), I’ll be judged by friends. By the way, I’m a kind person that is friendly and easy to get along with. I am an extrovert, but I’m confused. I’m an extrovert but I cant share this with my friends. They perceive me as an optimistic person, but why do I have these fears in my mind? Maybe they’re one of the reasons why I have this fear and that’s why I’m afraid to be wrong because I’m sure that friends will laugh at me. They definitely don’t know how I would feel if they did that because they know me as tough and smart, thinking that i will understand that it’s just a joke. But it really hurts me.

This is the only insecurity that I have in my life that is hard to handle. Is it a big problem? For you, maybe not. I don’t know if this is just a mental issue, but it always runs through my head. Whenever I think about it, I get nervous and scared. It’s almost like a phobia of speaking in English. It also affects my recitation in class which is why I cant share it with my parents because I’m not that open with them. I don’t know what to do. I cant share it with my closest friends because they might think that its just not that big of a problem, but for me, it really is.