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I thought that she was going to kill me

My mom was into witchcraft and my dad didn’t know, or didn’t care.

They got married and had me and my sister. One day, my mom sacrificed my sister and almost did the same for me. She abused me and my dad left her when I was 2. I lived with him for awhile and I watched him smoke, cry, yell, etc. I didn’t understand why, I was so young. Then one day he met another woman and they got married without me even knowing her well.

Turns out that we didn’t get along so well, she abused me and I didn’t follow her rules. Things got hard and there were times I thought that she was going to kill me. I tried to kill myself multiple times during that time. They got so tired of me and made me live with my new family. They were nice and wonderful, but I still had that feeling of loneliness. I had cut my arms and legs when I lived with them. I went in my closet one day after my dad yelled at me on the phone. (That was my last straw) I hung myself but my head slipped back over and over again. (Since I used a belt and didn’t have any rope) I got a scarf and strangled myself then. I placed my knives and a goodbye letter next to me thinking that that was it. I passed out here and there, seeing blackness surround me. My parents came home and found me. I could hardly talk or breathe. They took me to the hospital and then a mental hospital.

The pills worked only for a while, making me happy, yet I’m still crumbling inside. (I take Prozac) I began to cut today again.

What is life living for anymore? Maybe it’s just me…I don’t know, but all I do know is that I’m close again. What will happen to me, I have no idea and I don’t care anymore. I’m fine. I’m fine.

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