It is hard to tell when to begin this recollection of my past.
So to start when I was 19 I fell in love, it was exciting it broke all boundary’s that have been instilled into me from my upbringing, she was a beautiful African American woman with a great personality we chanced upon each other at a party of all places.
She was playing word crunch, or whatever that game with the worm that eats words you spelled out, just sitting off on her own, I was partying it up getting all sorts of knackered. After a few hours she didn’t try to talk to anyone and I felt bad because she was left out of the rotation even though I could tell she was too shy to ask to join. So I made it a point to include her into the party, she joined with little effort. Smoking with the rest of us. At that time, I had a good Job with almost no bills to speak of, I dropped $200 on that party between booze and smoke. Shortly later we ran out of all the rum “I know right why is all the rum gone”.
Well seeming she was the only sober one at the party I asked her to take me to the store, her being over 21 was amazing I handed her my card and keys and let her go into the liquor store, she came out with a bottle of Grey Goose and Jose Cuervo. And those 2 bottles changed my life as I knew it.
That night went amazing, we ended up back at her place and “Finished the party” in her room. And we could not be separated after that.
Two years past and everything was going great, living life to the fullest I had no idea how blind I have been by that point. She approached me one day and told me honey I am pregnant; I was ecstatic previously to that I was under the impression that I was sterile during the first doctors visit is when my eyes were opened. That doctors visit set the tone for the rest of my life.
That day I found that for over 2 years she hidden the fact that she was taking 4 different medications every day, for her several mental illnesses. I was struck I never seen pill bottles or anything.
The doctor then explained she would have to stop taking her medication due to it would harm the baby.
That conversation that day was one of our first……… actual fights, for two years she hid the fact that she suffers from chronic depression multiple personalities and schizophrenia, with the medications she was a super happy woman and a sheer joy to be around. We got married “that is a story for a different post.”
That pregnancy was hard but 12 months later my daughter was born happy and healthy I took time from work and raised my daughter, things were getting better and then she got pregnant again, that pregnancy was harder. But still 7 days less than a year from the birth of my daughter my son was born. Again I took time from work and helped raise my children. My wife decided to start working due she wanted to get out of the house. I completely understood and supported her decision, after she was done breast feeding I brought up the idea of her needing to start taking her medication again. She started seeing her doctors but shortly after refused to take her medication. Then started the tempo of the next 6 years of my life.