Its not easy..
People think that because I don’t have a boyfriend at 22, don’t date or go out much and keep quiet that I am shy or worse don’t have much to say…
I am *not* shy and I am straight.
You don’t get to judge because you don’t know that when I was 17 the top most important person to me who was my former boyfriend and forever best friend tried to kill himself and there was no one else that I spent the whole night trying to talk him out of it, that what I felt still haunts me to this day and always will. And that it wasn’t the last time either. I love him and I think I always will but I have never been able to tell him even though I know he still cares for me the same way…
That when I was younger the people I though were my best friends hurt me in the most brutal way. That’s why I don’t bother to make any effort anymore…
And even though I am the person people come to when they need help the one time I needed someone, anyone when I was contemplating jumping off the viaduct no one was there for me….

So I am quiet because of the betrayal I still feel, I don’t date because I still love the person that I can never tell. That I don’t go to people with my problems because it doesn’t do me any good…

But most importantly I don’t open my mouth because if I do I fear all this shit will come spewing out and I won’t stop crying…

So don’t you even think about judging me before you lived a day in my thoughts because really this just makes this whole shit worse and I end up ranting online….

Sincerely,

Your friend, sister, cousin, daughter and niece…