It’s summer vacation and I decided to to find a part-time job. My 1st week went well in the company then I meet a lot of people working there especially boys but there’s someone who got my attention his name is Paulo. As the days past I feel something with him but i just keep it on my self because i don’t want to hurt other people because he’s already have a Family.. I tried so hard not too obvious every time we talk and laugh but sometimes, he talk to me like ” Why you come here so late? When i’m already committed. why now?” Then i was like shock and then laugh and I’ll pinch him. And It happened again and again.
Then One day I’m all alone at the store and sitting on the bench. He sit beside me and he told me that He’s feeling something towards me. He likes me at the same time he don’t want to make mistake. I just smile and told him” I know”! “This is just temporary so don’t make any decision that you’ll regret soon.” Weeks after the feelings go deeper. This is not what I expected so I decided to avoid him but there are times that he will pass by at my table and sometimes he will touch my hair and it happened again everyday. “Please talk to me or please smile for me!” Those are the words that makes me feel more so guilty. I should not treat him like that It’s me that falling with him.. It’s my fault..
Then that afternoon he didn’t know that his wife and baby boy are waiting for him outside so he leave earlier as expected! It’s hurt seeing him happy while I’m here sitting alone and thinking how to stop this feeling?! I didn’t plan to fall in love, I was just thinking how to make money.. money!! The next day…It Is my last day in work and he sit beside me while I’m fixing lots of paper on the boxes. He told me that there’s something he want to tell me but he make sure we never cross the same path again. I stop on what I’m doing and I look At him and tell him that ” I hope so.”
It’s 5’o clock in the afternoon and it’s raining i decided to walk away from him and never say goodbye cause its just breaking my heart!
The next morning I receive a call from my supervisor and she please me to extend for 1 more week. So i accept anyway i come here to work…
When he saw me.. he smile.. A wide smile..
That Day I decided to do what i want but not giving a false hope of being with him.
We enjoy talking everyday with friends & I enjoy listening to the sound of his step every time he enter are room..
I feel so good.. Feel so in love.. Feel so comfortable..
The next day and next and next until my last day I didn’t see him..
I didn’t have the chance to say thank you or just say goodbye for the last time
But I don’t have the choice so i leave.
After A month I receive a message from him. Asking How’s my life? How’s schooling? How’s everything.. and I want to shout. I want to jump. There’s so much emotion i feel..
I reply and
So we chat and chat till morning to night
Then unexpected thing happened his wife open his Phone and read some of our conversation. She message me using his phone and i immediately block him..
I’m scared.. So scared thinking that i’ll be the reason of their separation…
So scared and hate i feel to myself of being happy with the wrong person. Thinking me as a mistress is a big disappointment with myself and my family.
We don’t have the relationship but he’s one of the best man i knew.. the one that makes me smile.. for a moment but i hope forever but it’s impossible .
Now I know the feeling of some people when they choose to be a mistress or second wife or whatever it is called. They just want to be happy with the person who treats them more than a queen, to the person who makes them feel comfortable, to the person who makes them like a best friend forever or to the person who makes then So In Love..
We Just Want to be Happy!
But there are some people who choose to stop for the sake of others..
This day I saw him and I hope the next time we see each other it’s not the same feelings anymore..
I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.”
Lauren Oliver, Delirium
Thank you for letting me share this story of mine!