Share one of your life's stories:

When writing your story, please use correct spelling and grammar. Please use a capital I rather than a lower i, and use apostrophes correctly. Such as I'm, don't, can't.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I’m always the bad guy

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I’m the bad guy I’m always the bad guy. She only wants to talk when she feels like it. Fuck her. I’m not talking to her until I FUCKING WANT TO NOW. IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING. ALWAYS ME. I MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHIT I’M THE ASSHOLE BUT GUESS WHAT SHE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT TOO ALL THE TIME CAUSE I CARE TOO MUCH. I have to stop. I’m already numb. This why I don’t like to be close. Why do I care?  Got to let her go. Let her do her and not talk. She makes me feel crazy. Relationship is so toxic. I want to breathe far away but I love her so much and I want her to myself. I don’t want her to go away but if she does you’ll be fine.

You don’t need her and you don’t need anyone. You just love the idea of her and want her. You want her but you don’t need her. She makes you out to be a horrible being? Are you one? You make her out to be the same. How have you guys lasted so long. Why is she two completely different people at times?  Things you’ve seen from her you wonder why the hell. You can’t ever say anything about your feelings. You stress her out. You’re bad for her. You should leave her alone. She doesn’t need you. She hardly wants you. She only holds on cause you have stayed around through a lot. If she could pick someone else she would. The person you want to mean the most to and the person who means the most to you is tired of you. She blocks everything from you because she doesn’t trust you. She loves to go out with other people because you are a burden on her and only make her feel like shit. Why did you have to love her so much and grow attached? Cause she’s the only one who’s held you when you cried? Who promised to stay and makes you feel cared and loved like no one else? She gives that love to everyone though. You want to be special and she says you are but you can’t see it. Things you do hurt her. Things you say hurt her. She gets upset if you’re out with friends but she does the same thing and it’s ten times worse. She says your secretive but you’re not you just hangout in private and don’t post everything you’re doing so you don’t hurt her feelings. She doesn’t do that for you. She posts videos and hearts and everything showing how fine she could be without you there. She blows up on you and acts funny certain days and you just have to take it because you’ve shown her you will and that there no consequence to doing that to you. That it’s fine when it’s not always. If the roles were reversed she’d hate you. She tells you goodbye all the time and pushes what you have to say to the side. She wants you to shut up. You’re irrelevant. You’re dramatic. All you do is make her feel like shit. It’s always about you in her mind but you always try to so hard to listen and please her but she never shares and it feels like not enough. You close up. You want to stop talking altogether. You’re a mess. You hate yourself. You hate that you love. You hate you want to be loved. You want out of your misery. You’re a coward. You’re scared of death. She’s a coward. She wants death to come. You think about losing her and you lose it inside. You think how did I meet someone who controls me like this?  How do I make the madness stop but not make us stop? You do this by listening and following her rules. Never getting mad or jealous like you want at times. But it builds and you finally have to let it out. But it’s not wanted. She doesn’t need your stress. You’re full of shit. You don’t know what to do anymore or how to feel. You wonder when will she go? If your such a horrible person how long will she stay? You’re scared of how the future will end up. Something is going to get in the way somehow. It’ll be messy you aren’t ready. You’re never ready. Afraid of life. Afraid of death. Just afraid. Nothing you can do. Nothing you can ever do.

One Comment


Leave an anonymous comment