2 Hours with my crush.
I am a 20 years old guy, I’m suffering from a deep depression which has been with me since I was 15 years old. I’m a lonely guy, I don’t have friends, and I’m suffering from a social anxiety disorder.
I’m fed up with life and the way things are going and I have low self esteem. In brief I have no life.
Things got more complicated, especially since I went to college, my depression tortures me now more than ever. I feel that it’s rooted inside me, and I can’t get rid of it.
I have a difficult relationship with my parents, I constantly fight with with them because I feel that they never understood my condition, especially my mother.
It’s been 3 years now and I’m in college, I have a crush over a beautiful girl, but I never had the balls to ask her out. She’s very nice to me but I don’t spend too much time with her and that drives me crazy.
Last week , I visited her city with my family, we spent 3 days there. I liked the city it was very nice and beautiful (like her), but my parents and I never stopped fighting during the trip.
I waited until the last day , I told myself that this is my chance , or maybe I will regret it. I had to go out with her.
I contacted her and I told her that I wanted to see her. She was very glad that I had asked and she accepted.
We sat along the coast near the beach. The coast very crowded, but I liked the atmosphere of the summer, the shinny sun, and happy people walking and laughing.
When she arrived, I can’t describe the feeling that I felt in that moment, there were goose bumps all over me. She came with her roommate from college, a very kind and nice girl.
We walked along the coast, we talked about different stuff. There was this shyness in the beginning (I’m a shy person) but it faded away after a while and also moments of silence, but they were very short and I knew how to manage them.
We sat in a café in front of the beach, I liked the view and the atmosphere of the café, but the most interesting thing about all this was her. When I was there with her, I forgot about all my problems and my depression.
That afternoon was magical, we sat there for 2 hours, it felt like it was only 2 minutes. 2 hours of me besides her, laughing with her, listening to her beautiful voice , looking at her beautiful eyes , face, hair… It doesn’t matter because I love everything about her.
After all this, we said goodbye to each other and the day after, I went back to my hometown. It was like a dream, but now it is over, I went back to my miserable life with my parents. Since that day, I spend my days sitting in my bed, thinking about her, I barely move, I can’t even eat now and my parents refuse to talk to me because they are tired of me.
The depression took the upper hand over me again and I can’t do anything about it. All I’m thinking about is my crush and waiting for the day to see her again.