I am 24 and I found out I was pregnant and I had to do an abortion. I had no choice. I cant have the baby. I thought after the abortion I will feel relieve and yes for few moment, and up till today, I am in this horrible feeling of ‘I could have been a mother’, I could have been 4 months by now’, I killed my own baby. I do regret it but cannot do anything about it as I am in no position of having a baby currently. I have to go through all these alone. All the emotional torture never leaves me. I have to feel regret and guilty every single day. Whenever I sees a pregnant woman I will be like ‘I was suppose to be like this by now’. Cause I’m expecting my baby next year on February. I could have been a mother. I lost my baby at 7 weeks and yes it is very early but I love my baby. She will call me mother in 2 years. I am so sorry my daughter. I am sorry that I don’t want you. It’s not that I don’t want you but mommy, I am in no position of having you right now. I just want my child to be born and be with a proper family. A father, a mother, a grandparents and Uncles that love her. She won’t have all that if she’s born now. I’m such a horrible person.