Hello, you may call me Solitude. I say this because my life is just that – quiet, and rather, quite sad. I live in a BDSM relationship with full knowledge of what I was getting myself into. I used to work 2 jobs and lived with a roommate. I served in the military hoping to get my life together. However, that wasn’t the case – I am now an introvert who is desperate to have someone, anyone else, to talk to. So desperate that the person who talks to me, I refer to him/her as my “Master.” He pays for everything, keeps me safe, In exchange, I give him my complete submission and total control – I own nothing and I am to do whatever is necessary to fulfil my role. I suffer from depression and a few other things. I have no friends, my family is gone and I sit here living in a house that is in need of TLC (Tender Love and care or in this case, renovation) badly. My vehicle is complete crap and I have no way of getting another one for there isn’t enough money and my “Master” has never driven a vehicle before. I used to go out sometimes and working was the only way I felt like my life had something to it. Even though I was mistreated and abused by everyone around me. I just want things to get better. I’m miserable even though my master has told me time and time again how much submission will make me happy. How I need to stop living in the past because it is dead. I want to forget, but when I was living a life around people constantly and now I have little contact with the outside world, it eats at you. I don’t particularly like being a huge social butterfly, but I can’t even have my wisdom teeth worked on because there isn’t a single person I can ask to drive me to the appointment. I have never felt more alone and there is no other life for me. I have nothing to my name except a phone that I don’t pay for and a car that is a hazard to drive, and I don’t even pay for the insurance on it. My living situation isn’t bad if you compare it to how my life used to be – I’m just wishing it wasn’t so lonely and was better in terms of having someone cut the grass or fix the roof. I just wanted to share my feelings before they ate at me some more. Thanks.
