Judgement is everywhere and you won’t really ever notice it until you are stepping outside of what society considers to be normal or acceptable. I bet you won’t be able to read what I have written without judging what I’m about to say. In my case, I am now a sophomore in college. I’m super studious and dedicated to my difficult major. My freshman year, I spent what feels like the entire time studying instead of having fun with friends. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with my friends but the problem is, I feel like I haven’t made any best friends here, (well maybe like 3 but that’s not the point) or people who actually want to make plans with me and it makes me wonder whats wrong with me, why people I like and want to be friends with don’t reciprocate. It’s really frustrating and sometimes makes me want to cry. This feeds my desire to study; I have created this go to excuse to tell people how I spent my Friday or Saturday night and because I have an extremely difficult major, people believe it. The bottom line for me is that I don’t like to go out, that doesn’t mean I don’t like to drink, it just means I don’t like going to bars or frat parties, I just don’t think its fun, but with my school’s social scene, that’s pretty much all people do on the weekends. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like if I want to stay in and study on Friday and Saturday nights I should not feel like I’m being judged by anyone instead of wanting to go out, yet I do. On another note, something that has really hurt me the most is that so many people I love at my school will like all of my Instagram pictures, watch my Snapchat stories etc. but when I text them and ask them to hang out they just exude apathy and it breaks my heart. I LOVE to have fun, I love going to do stuff but no one ever asks me because I don’t know, and feel like I never will have a friends group. My friends have always all been in completely different social circles and I feel like people don’t understand how difficult that makes everything and how it makes it seem like I only have 1 best friend because I fit in with their social circle the best. What I want to express to everyone is that:
1. Judgement is stupid and only hurts people, I know its human nature, I do it all the time but we really need to try not to.
2. Reach out to people and tell people that you care or else they could seriously believe you don’t give a **** about them similar to what I believe about a ton of my new friends
3. You are not cool for going out and you are not cool for staying in, I’m just as much fun as the person who gets wasted every night of syllabus week just because I choose not to risk my jungle juice being spiked at a frat party or having to make sure my friend doesn’t hook up with the junior she’s been flirting with the whole night.
We all have different priorities, just respect all of them. Thanks for reading!