We started dating back in 2008. You were different, sweet, loving guy who had a way of talking to a female. Huh, I fell for you but a part of me wasn’t over my ex. I promised you I wouldn’t cheat but I ended up seeing my ex but we didn’t have sex, just kiss and he gave me those ugly things on your neck. You put your guard down for me but found out that I did that to you but still you stayed with me. I got pregnant with our first kid but had no choice but to abort it since my dad was going to disown me. It hurt so much because it was a life we created together. Then your ex girlfriend turned around and said she was pregnant because she still wanted to be with you and you didn’t know who to believe but I had all the proof you needed. When I went to Maui, you made out with your ex and it hurt me but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave you. I got pregnant again and my dad was so pissed, but one day he gave in. My birthday was right around the corner and I wanted to move out and live with my boyfriend. I told my parents and they wanted me to wait till I finished school but I didn’t. I left on my birthday and my dad disowned me. It hurt but I knew I had my boyfriend by my side. Man, we fought a lot through out my whole pregnancy and he would go out, drink and party with his friends, go to water park, smoke weed, and come home whenever he pleased while I was knocked up stuck at home. The night I was feeling sharp pains, he was out getting pierced, drinking with his friends, and having fun while his grandma had to take me to the hospital scared to drive at night, trying to calm me down, talking to the baby saying “hold on don’t come out yet please, wait baby”, we got lost and then we saw an ambulance at the gas station and they took us to the hospital. I got the epidural, I couldn’t handle the pain and he still wasn’t by my side but his grandma and older sister was. After the epidural was in, he shows up with a BIG ASS SMILE on his face, I was pissed. I wanted to fuck him up at that moment but I couldn’t. His grandma, sister, and friends left. A few hours later we had our son. He was the most biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. I saw love in my boyfriends eyes, it was a love i have never seen with me. It made me happy. I felt like everything was going to be okay but you didn’t grow up. You went back to drinking, going out with his friends and yes you did help with the baby but here I was home alone with the baby taking care of him while you, his daddy was out having fun. When our son turned 6 months, I decided to move to the mainland with my sister. I couldn’t handle it anymore. We argued at the airport before my son and I left. When I was in the mainland we talked everyday, told each other we loved you all the time but right when I told you, this guy was trying to get with me but I wasn’t interested, you didn’t want me anymore. That night I had a dream, you were seeing/ fucking another girl. Sure enough I asked you, and my dream was true. I couldn’t bare the hurt so a month later I went back home with my son. You picked us up from the airport but you didn’t want anything to do with me. We went to this beach at Nimitz and I told you I could just walk home but you wouldn’t let me since I had your son. So I got in the car and I stayed with your Filipino grandma’s house. You didn’t change, still going out, drinking, and seeing that girl and fucking her while I was home with our son. I begged to be with you, I would anything do be WITH YOU! Knowing you did what you did. We slowly strayed working on our relationship, then I got pregnant again and you started to change your way and lessened the going out. I was LOVING IT! AT THAT MOMENT, I loved you so much for the person you turned out to be. We had our little girl and she was born on your birthday, it was amazing. You were by my side the whole time never leaving me. You were drinking but to a minimal and I was okay with it. A year and a half later I got pregnant again and was on a debate of keeping or aborting. I decided to keep and you still were minimal on your drinking and I was happy. We had our second daughter and you were drinking, driving with the kids while I was at work. Slowly started going out with your friends but this time it was taking the kids with you. I didn’t think much of it and when you started working overnights I decided to go on the internet and look up guys for I don’t know what stupid reason but I did asked some sexual questions and so did the person but no physical, and you caught it on my phone. I knew I was wrong but I didn’t want you leaving me. I just couldn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. Things started getting hard in Oahu so we decided to move to Maui, stayed with my grams for a bit and finally got into the shelter. When you got into the airport, it was like you forgot that we had a family. Always going out to drink, getting so fucked up that you were laying on the bathroom floor naked, and back to work. He blames me for wanting him to go to work at the airport with my uncle and yes I will take some blame but then again he has his own mind. Oh, mind you I’m pregnant with our fourth kid. As much as I was mad at the fact you were going out drinking, going to the bar, and having fun, the kids still needed to be fed, homework done etc. and I was doing it by myself. Its like you couldn’t think for yourself, always wanting to please, everyone else knowing you have a family at home waiting for you. We got married before our last child and I gave birth, tied my tubes (thank god), and so did you. We got a house together with my sister and Damn, you went back to drinking pretty much every night because I “stressed” you out. Wow, blame me for your own stupidity. As for me, I was LOYAL, FAITHFUL, AND ALL FOR YOU but I couldn’t take it anymore and yes I went online and talked to other guys and cheated on you. Being a mom I only went out twice, once with you and once with my sisters. When I went out with my sisters, oh hell broke loose and I continued to cheat. You went to Oahu for a week, let his sister go back to smoking ice and kept telling her I promise I will get you out of it and You started sniffing coke, telling me I should try it, its like you can think and you are always happy. I didn’t know this person I married. I had no feelings for him, I kept asking myself why am I keeping him around? He knew it was not going to work so we decided to get a divorce and he was talking to his so called “boss” about what he was going through and I saw it. So, I decided to let him know I cheated more than once. It wasn’t a happy ending. So he decided to go to Oahu and said he wanted DNA TESTING for all the kids because he doesn’t believe its his. I’m all for it. My point to this is, while he was out having fun, I was being a SUPER MOM doing everything while he was out having FUN. AT LEAST I CAN TAKE blame for what I did but can he take blame for punching guys out on bicycles for no reason. Oh, because wifey goes out with sisters lets cause some big ass dramas. This is not the person I knew but whats done is done. SINGLE PARENT LIFE. I know its not going to be easy but as long as I have my siblings support, I know everything will be alright.
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