Ok look, I am 13 years old I will be 14 in one month I live in Palestine and I lost my parents 2 years ago. I lost my mother first to a heart attack and lost my father 2 months later to lung cancer. I don’t really care about their death, they weren’t exactly “good” parents, my mother didn’t want me to be born but my dad did, and after I was born she started liking me, and when I was 4, they divorced and I think that’s what triggered my change. I was a trouble maker in school. I hit people and made trouble, I didn’t bully or anything but just hit anyone who annoyed me in 5th grade, that’s when they died and I started just not making any trouble. I stopped loving girls (not gay) stopped feeling mental pain, was way more patient… but I became an atheist. Let me tell you why. Ever since I was little, I liked TV way too much I watched it a lot and even stayed up all night in 5th grade. When I got a laptop, I started playing on it instead of the TV in 6th grade. I stopped playing and started reading watching and became smarter. I am able to read people easily and have watched over 100 animes of all genres but I learned about atheism, started doubting my religion and became an atheist, but for a couple of weeks now I’ve been just so afraid of death and what comes after it normally happens at night before I sleep. I’m writing this at night 11 pm because I can’t sleep and if there is a god, he is fucking insane throwing people into the world and letting them do whatever they wanted and when he felt like, it sent a book which really just sounds like a fantasy book and expects everyone to believe in it and will send people to “hell” if they don’t and “hell” is actually terrifying you go into flames and burn forever and be sane the whole way through, that’s just terrifying and only a psycho would do something like that but I’m just so scared that this psychopath is actually real I don’t think of it when I’m distracted by life but it just scares me and keeps me up at night, well that was it that’s my amazingly shitty life, comment on what you think about it.