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If only I could get back at that very moment

If only I could REALLY go back at that moment, I wouldn’t have let you go.. I can still remember freshly in my mind, feeling like it was just yesterday.. July 2013; it was our schools summer vacation, I needed to go with my mom to get our vacation at our native country, back then I remember you crying and wanting me not to leave because he can’t wait 2 months for me to get back. And we haven’t really got the chance to celebrate our 1st anniversary on the 28th of June although we did, it wasn’t really that well planned life we usually do every 28 of every months. We were in love, we loved each other, we’re unseperateable, it’s like it was only the two of us in the world, he was perfect that sometimes I get angry just so we could get in to fights like normal couples do he was really kind he loved me so much that even he’s right he gives up just for me. I LOVED HIM TOO, I REALLY DID, until there goes the time I was having doubts of my feelings, asking myself if I still love him, thinking and convincing myself that maybe I was just confusing myself and thinking maybe I would change my mind afterwards, and maybe it was just a mood swing. But I was wrong, we reached 1 year and rather than hurting him to tell my issues I let it go and just go with the flow. Until we got separated, I got more convince than ever that something has really changed upon my view of him.. Still not telling that, I got to meet some new friends and even got a fling, just because I got bored of him just because every time we got to talk he cries, he says he misses me repetitively although we barely talk. FIRST FEW WEEKS, I say, we still have it until I was introduced and I got excited talking to new people. Until this stupid and the most sh*tty day of my life comes, I was out of my mind and broke up with him without waiting for the perfect timing nor even thinking what to say! I just come up sending him a text message and of course with a shock he called directly through my phone asking and not wanting to say the right things because it wasn’t really planned to be done! Back then even when I got back in here we didn’t talk properly! I hate myself being in a relationship afterwards with a guy I met in my country and we just lasted 3 months. I was inconsiderate and still not turning back of what I did to him.

2014 I met my 2nd boyfriend after him, until this day we’re together. And he’s the real reason I realised the mistake I did because he was the exact opposite of my ex. He’s inconsiderate, hard headed, manipulative, short tempered, he sometimes hurts me physically and even verbally, he’s not the hard working man. REAL OPPOSITE, makes me think I really did the mistake of letting him go. And thinking he really is my karma of hurting my ex. But I’m happy he got his friends and family when he was hurting and now he’s in a relationship for almost 3 years already. Same as mine (Yes I do stalk him sometimes when I think of him) I’m happy too because now I have a cute and wonderful daughter, she’s 1 year old already. This choice of having a kid is unquestionnable and a no doubt thought! Just that I missed him and wanting to write this because I have no one to share it with. I can’t say this in my husbands face of how he have became my biggest karma! THANK YOU FOR READING :**

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