Share one of your life's stories:

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I want to reach a certain lifestyle

I want to reach a certain lifestyle, where my heart and brain are in harmony, where I’m spiritually and materially balanced and in chemistry. I know about the secret of having all this, but I just can’t find it, I can’t reach it, I can’t see it, I just…can’t !!
I know that in order to reach that, one must have a “message”, a “case”, a “noble goal” to give it his all, so he’s completely focused on his journey, always feeling he’s not giving it enough effort and sacrifice though in fact he IS, other people with less nobility and awareness actually envy him for what he’s doing, and yet he isn’t satisfied with himself, and that’s…paradise to me, but WHERE is that goal ?
I am young, I am ambitious, I am strong but, I can’t take control over MY OWN SELF, I just can’t!!
Originally, I am a very close to his god, I love him, I always want to please him, I know how loving, caring, patient he is with me but, I just can’t seem to reach that state of absolute closeness with him u_u I really would like to but…I can’t, I’ve been trying so hard, fighting, struggling, striving, but that collapse just finds its way to my heart !!!
I don’t know anymore how to deal with this situation !!

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