Initially I always thought this was a no brainer…I felt suicide was for the weak and those who had no control whatsoever… however as someone who has a strong mind and likes to control what I think and feel etc…. I starting thinking it was the best and only option to make things work.
Stepping back a bit so you know why I came up with that.
At the age of 7, my parents split up and from that day my life sucked and to be honest it really has not got any better. I have made a series of decisions which have basically made my life end up right exactly where I did not want it. The parent to a child who has just split up.
I have in fact waited many years to have kids as I did not want to be with someone who I did not work well with. I hear you say hold on you split up…yes..yes we did and to make matters worse I have a kid younger than I was who I am about to put through the same pain I went through for years…sadly I have no choice in this she has decided.
Why we broke up is really semantics it makes no difference now although I am sure later on it will be a he said she said thing…
My #1 thing is protecting my child. First it was from a bad mother which I thought I did hence I did not push for abortion etc…. so now I am stuck here with bad mother. Why do I say she is bad well in this case only she is putting my child in this position by breaking it off…good or bad reason again does not matter. It is putting me in a position for my child I never want hence she is the bad mother I did not want.
So I have wracked my brain for days for a solution. Which stops my daughter coming from a broken home and death of 1 parent is it. Seeing it is illegal for me to do it to her obviously I figure if I die then it solves the problem. Not only that if I make it look an accident I will then give them money which is the best thing a father can do for his family.
So in this case suicide is an option.
Is it not?