I was born June, and when I was born we moved to Riverbank CA. So, my life started off with a lot of action, my mom and dad did drugs so I always saw them fighting. I ran away one day with my mom I wasn’t sure what was going on at the time so I went along with it. When I was six I saw, my mom cheating on my dad so I told my dad without thinking. So, my mom took me to a hotel and said “I’ll be back baby girl I love you”, but she never came back. My dad found me and he decided to stop doing drugs and started to take care of me. But because he had done so much drugs in his life he ended up with heart failure and was always sick so he got on dialysis. I started dating guys just to fill up the hole I had in my heart. I ended up falling in love with someone who was older than me, his name was Josiah. We met in February. We would text everyday no matter what we were doing. Even when everyone thought it was weird because of the age difference I understand though I mean he was seventeen and I was twelve. We were both in pastor’s family’s but we weren’t like them we were different. One day we decided to meet in person that day was March Sixteenth. We saw each other that day at a stop light and just stared at one and other like we just saw a ghost but then he smiled at me and that night at exactly three in the morning I said ” I thought I saw you today” and he said the same thing and then we just laughed. I said Josiah your just like me and he said “I love you Maria “. And then I said that I was happy I met him and he kissed me I never felt so at peace in my whole life. We ended up having sex that night and in the morning I remember asking him what would happen if I was pregnant. And he said I promise if you are I will always be there for you forever and for always because I love you, and I said I love you to. Then I called my older sister and said I was scared I might be pregnant and she said you joking right. I said I wasn’t and she said who did you have sex with and I said Josiah… she said okay who is he? Where is he from and were dose he live? And I said he was pastor’s son and he’s form Riverbank. Then she said okay and then she asked how old he was and I said he was seventeen. Then I said Jami, please don’t tell anyone. She said okay I won’t I promise. That day I asked Josiah if he wanted a baby and he said well I’m kind of young but if you are pregnant I promise to love that baby with all my heart. Then I said okay I love you got to go. And he said I love you to. The next day I woke up at seven in the morning and went to school it was a Thursday morning I called my sister to bring me a Gatorade. It seemed like a normal day and then they called me to the office and then the cops said “come with us” I hand no idea what was going on. Then they asked me if I had sex? I said why would you ask me that? And then they said when did you have sex and who with? I said I had sex, I had sex with Josiah, and it was on Wednesday. Then they said okay were does he live and I said he lives in Riverbank. And then they said we want you to know we are only here to help and I said okay, thanks. And they took me to the hospital and my dad was there and he asked me who I had sex with and I told him It was Josiah. My dad was in shock he said okay and walked out of the room. All I could do was cry I was confused. I didn’t know what to say. The nurse came in and asked me if I wanted the day after pill and all I could say is no get away from me. My dad took me home and forced me to take the stupid pill. I went outside and tried to kill myself. They put Josiah in jail and all I could do was think about how much he might hate me and never want to see me again. After that I started cutting myself and a few months later he got out of jail and I ran away to go see if I could find him and then the cops found me and brought me home. And my dad said I can’t believe you did that. Well what did you want me to do I love him. And I started making fake accounts just to talk to him and he found out it was me and said bye and he would bloke me so now I’m just waiting for him. Some people say he hates me others say he said he loves and cares about me and he don’t want to see me get hurt so he keeps blocking me he knows I’m hurting and he don’t want to lose me because he knows what would happen if he talked to me than they would take me away and put me in foster care. I lost a lot of friend over loving him but I don’t care I will always love him not just till the day I die but way past it. As I’m writing this I am still waiting but I know he’ll come back for me because I believe in him. And I always will.