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The thing is, we were going to be separated, and that kind of killed me

Ok, I’ve never done a blog before but here it goes. Hi, my name is Jesus. My story starts back in high school, I was in love, no I’m still in love with a friend of mine which I considered my ‘best friend’ because I never had that kind of ‘connection’ I had with her. I knew all the way it wasn’t reciprocated so I never told her a single word about it.

I’ve got to say that it’s not love in first sight, that means I didn’t fall in love with her for her body. We’ve been friends for more than 6 years and I fell in love with her just a couple of years ago, so that means that I won’t forget her and find another ‘fish’, I don’t want another fish… if it’s not this fish I won’t find another fish in my entire life.

So, we were going to graduate soon and I was going to leave the city because of university in some city not so far away. The thing is, we were going to be separated, and that kind of killed me. We finally graduated and a week before I was leaving she said that she was going to be so far away too, but she was going to live in Malaysia, that means so so so far away from me (+12 h of difference).

That week we hang out with some friends to say good-bye and stuff, but I never got the chance to be alone with her, so I couldn’t tell her how I feel about her.

In the end, we took different ways but I didn’t want to lose her, so I started to chat with her every day in WhatsApp. Every fucking day. We had so much trust that I started to call her hon and sweetie and darling, etc., and she was okay with it (that’s what I thought).

After a year, she stopped texting me that much and I thought it was because she was so busy with the university but someday when we had like 1 week without chatting I was going desperate because she was beginning to ignore me. I texted her and she replied telling me that I was calling her a lot with pet names and she asked me if I was in love with her because she wasn’t.

I said that we’ve been friends for so long that I didn’t want to lose her friendship, also I’m not the kind of man she would be dating, so I just told her that I wanted to be her friend until we meet each other again (and it’s going to be in the next 5 years). In the end, I told her if this doesn’t fuck up everything between us, she said that we are okay. We’re friends.

In the next days, we spoke for a little bit until she started to ignore me again. I decided to give her space because in her shoes, a friend that has been in her life for over 6 years comes and tells her that he loves her, when she doesn’t. I decided that she needed to think a lot about us, what did she want to do about us.

And meanwhile, she said to some friends that she was coming back to the country to the Holidays vacations I was in shock, what do I do about it if she was ignoring me?

After a month, I decided to text her that it was nice that she was coming back and if we can meet again, because it’s around our birthdays so I told her that we can may go out to walk or a park, or something.

We are going to be in the same town in the next month, but now I don’t know if should come by and visit her or what should I do. I really want to keep her friendship even though I like her a big lot, it’ll be really awkward but if she wants to try it, I’ll go through hell if it’s necessary to keep her.

Sorry about the long long story, I just needed some place to share my thoughts :).
Tell me what do you think about all this guys, thanks for taking your time


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