She can’t do that me. I want to be her friend so badly because there is only one her. She has qualities that no one else has. Other people may know me, but not a single person knows me the way she does. It’s a rare quality & no one else that I know has it besides her. She gives direction to my life. She makes sure I’m actually doing something with myself. Everything I have ever done is somehow reflected upon her. From the way I dress to the music I listen to even the way I type this message. I spent countless sleepless nights thinking about her & I’m not just about to let her slip away again. I’m not saying this because I want her back. I lost that privilege a long time ago. I’m saying this because care about her. I know she is happy with him & I completely understand I’m genuinely happy for her, I really am. But you can’t just drop someone you have known for 3 years. You can’t just do that, it’s not okay. We fell back into our old patterns & that’s what messed us up. If her & I keep things light like we said we would then it won’t create a false hope. This is exactly why her & I created boundaries. To make it work. She needs me & I need her & she knows it. I am idiot for asking stupid questions at stupid times which makes things worse for everyone which is my downfall. The relationship her & I have isn’t toxic the both of us make it toxic when there is absolutely no reason for it to be. It’s not going to work, her not talking to me, she’s here for me & I’m here for her, no matter what, she said it herself.