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Honesty is not the best policy

#Fact No.1: HONESTY IS NOT THE BEST POLICY, unfortunately?
Such a bitter fact I reached. I wish I wouldn’t face it. I was always afraid of the day that I want to believe it in my life. It was always my moto, my lifestyle. In the bottom of my heart I was inspiring that someday the life will prove it in opposite way, but it seemed I was trying to protect my beliefs, somehow, I was just running away. I always impressed people around myself with my naivety, so as I trusted to them they would trust me too. I was believing in action and reaction law in the world. It seems I attract these kinds of people with my energy and this attitude. I wasn’t waiting for this day…
Believe it or not I’m not sad because of losing some opportunity in life, like job opportunity or these kinds of things at all. I’m just sad because I’m under the pressure of believing this fact. You know suddenly everything destroyed. The life showed me the other face of itself, the dirty one which I always hated to even think about it. I was suffering to imagine this way of living. I’m sad because it’s just hard to me to live in this way, totally it’s difficult to change my mood. A life in which you should always plan for a lie, go ahead with policy, and little by little even yourself believe your lies, because you must remember them. And lying after lying. It’s not a sweet life for me to enjoy an unreal world which is made in my mind.
I want to say something may be funny and you may laugh at me, but the fact is that I can’t remember my lies!!! I mean I forget about them. If I tell a small lie, once in a blue moon, it’s possible to lose it later and others realize the lie. So, I’m not a good liar at all, then it’s better not to try it. I prefer it.
But what about lying and living like a political man? It’s like playing chess. You should be always careful about your move and interpret your opponent’s behaviour, whether true or false.
But it seems if you want to live in society you must be like them…What a hard decision. I really can’t enter this game. It bothers me.??
God may help me.

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