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Couldn’t do sports because my parents spent all our money on drugs

My name is anon. I am 19 years old and I have had a rough childhood. Grew up with a father with a drinking problem. Causing my parents to split up and lose our family business. We have been poor ever since. I always had a house to sleep in and food to eat. I don’t eat much and it caused me to be thin, almost sickly thin. My parents made life extremely tough for me and my older brother. My mother started to drink a lot because of our situation. My dad never paid any money to help us. He was more interested in drinking and sleeping around. My mother started attempting suicides and as kids we are the ones saving her life. Calling the ambulance and putting her into a cold shower when she was overdosing on pills. My dad would hit and kick my mother. We were too young to do anything about it. My dad would come in 2 o’clock in the morning, shouting putting on loud music and waking us up. Always he chose substances above his family. I didn’t go to school much. No petrol money or my parents were too lazy to drop us off. If we went to school, then we would wait for hours to be picked up. Birthday and Christmas presents stopped when we reached high school. The worst place I had to stay in was in a 1 bedroom house where we rented out the 1 bedroom and me, my mom and dad had to live in the small living room. Growing up with rich friends who get what they want, doing any sport they wanted to, playing any instrument they wanted to, having well-mannered and parent figures to look up to. It made me cry most nights. I didn’t have money to do sports or play any instruments. I was an introvert most of my childhood. Way too scared to talk to girls. Very insecure. After years of living with my alcoholic parents, they decided to do “cat”. A drug that makes you stay awake for long and gives you energy. Never having money for me and my brother. They always had money for drugs and alcohol. Drug dealers coming into our house, because my parents are too weak to stand up. Needing the drug to move. Since grade ten, I started living with my family. My dad sister for a year. My mom sister for a few months. My mom’s other sister for a few months. my dad’s brother for a few months. Sometimes my family would buy me some clothes. Wearing clothes 2 years old. always problems after problems. I hated living with other people. I feel unwelcome. I feel that I don’t have freedom as I should have. Most stuff I can’t even remember. This is everything just atop of my head. I started getting used to all my problems. My parents started using crystal meth. I don’t get shocked anymore. I don’t have any emotion towards them except hate. Now, I am living with my mom who is trying to stop with crystal, but I am the one who must suffer when she doesn’t get what she wants. Finally having my own home and now I have to come home to an aggravated mother who needs drugs. My dad who I wrote off came to my house and threatened me. Scared in my own house of my father who I have nothing to do with anymore. 19 years and it feels like I’m never going to catch a break. The part upsetting me the most is my health. Don’t have money to check up on myself. I can’t go to the dentist. Teeth has been skew teeth. Too insecure to laugh or smile in front of people. Feels like I am losing all my emotions the longer this goes on. My parents made my childhood tough for us. Still making my life tough. Asking every now and again for drug money. They don’t care if I cry. Don’t care for my accomplishments. Life seems pointless. sorry for the miss spelled words. I can’t seem to go back and correct them. Please tell me what you guys Think.

 

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