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From a fat girl point of view

It’s hard being fat while being a teenager. It’s hard being the fattest girl in your squad/group of friends. It’s hard watching your crush go for the skinny girl and not you. It hurts knowing that everyone just looks at you and says she’s fat and not care about your personality. It really hurts when someone calls you fat specially if it comes from your best friends, even if it’s only humour. You just think they are using your weight and how you look just to mock you and make jokes and laugh, or make the other people laugh. I however, I was first called fat from my family (my sister and mother) when I first started getting fat, then everyone started looking at my legs while I’m walking which made me feel insecure so I started covering up my skin as much as I could. It’s hard in the summer though. I started buying bigger sizes trying to make the clothes baggy on me so that nothing would show. As some point, I bought many compression bands and I used it around my belly and my upper body part just trying to make that part look smaller. It made it really hard to breathe or walk freely or do anything or play volley, when I got home I was relieved to take them all off just to be able to breathe properly. It was devastating, many days I just left them on till the week was over because the bands were a lot and I didn’t have time in the morning to put them on. In the next year, I started going to the gym in the summer before school trying to be fit but I had trouble going on a regular basis, financially. Anyways, in that time I used to go regularly and I actually lost some weight and I was just a few kg’s a way of looking skinny, and on the second day I was called fat by a teacher in front of the whole class. And everyone laughed so I had to laugh as well while I was crying inside. The rest of the day was just me being depressed followed by a whole week or more like that. I always saw my closest friends looking at my body and they never said anything but I can just see how they looked and acknowledge what they’re thinking. It’s hard. I have to say. I stopped wearing clothes that are bright in colour, it’s very rare when I wear jeans that are not in a dark colour, I stopped going anywhere that included wearing dresses that’ll show my body. I started always making my hair straight so that it covers anything. I started not going to school a lot just so I can avoid people. I started eating even more. Everything just made me have the highest level of insecurity and somehow, I just can’t take it anymore so I decided to let all the feelings out in this. I had a sleepover from a few days, and 2 of my friends called me fat. It was humour but it still hurt and specially that it came from them, I just wanted them to leave the second after they said it. I literally just couldn’t bear to look at them.
My whole point is, fat girls should be loved just like thin girls and not for how they look for who they are, how the society only loves thin girls shows how shallow the society we live in is. Girls don’t have to worry when people are talking about their weights and they are burning with fear not wanting anybody to ask them, or if they are asked they say ‘I don’t know’ (I did that). They should just say it and people should just accept it. Not everyone is born thin, not everyone is born having the ability to go to a training, not everyone has the money for a gym, and not everyone has the chance to lose the weight. Girls don’t have to accept humility from people calling them fat not being able to respond just because they’re embarrassed. Girls don’t have to hide every part of them just because they have more skin or won’t look as good as thin girls. Girls don’t have to compare every single little detail in their bodies with other girls or their crush’s girlfriend. Girls don’t have to always have the perfect hair and body and makeup and everything. Girls are humans and all humans should be accepted just the way they fucking are. Everyone should embrace who they are. People who are body shaming others should just know that they have issues and you’re just making others completely insecure, just because they don’t show that they got hurt doesn’t mean they didn’t get hurt. Before you judge others, just look at your god damn self in the mirror. Because in my opinion, a person who judges either he/she got judged before or they just suck as human beings, and if I’m a person like that. I honestly won’t be able to live with myself. So please if you can’t make others feel good, then just fuck off and shut the hell up because you’re a terrible person.

One Comment

  1. Hey, I am in a very similar position to you I know it hurts when people call you fat or make jokes at your expense but I have come to realize the reason people do that is because they are not happy with themselves so they try to draw attention away from the imperfections they think they have and point out yours. This is very mean and I don’t like it but once I understood why, I was able to realize that no one is perfect and everyone knows it, So just realize you are fine the way you are and if people are mean to you it is because the are not happy with themselves.

    P.s. I am a guy and I prefer chubby girls and I know other guys like me so don’t worry about finding a person who loves you for who you are either, it will happen.

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