I wish I had heart attack instead of my mom

I got a small family. Mom dad me and younger brother. Both of us brothers live overseas. My mom passed away 2 months ago. It’s like a nightmare. Now my brother going back to Canada. I have to go back as well. As I can’t afford living her. But can’t leave dad alone by himself. I don’t know what to do? I wish I had heart attack instead of my mom…

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