My daily reality is my oldest son is an addict. Not just an addict, but several other things, plus being my son. I have to get up every day waiting for the phone to ring to tell me what he needs today. I know he is an addict. I know ninety-nine% of everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie, but he is still my baby. Every time he calls I know it’s because he needs something. Every time something happens to him it’s never his fault, that the others are being mean to him. Every time he needs some money to get food is a lie, he buys enough to survive then he buys his dope or ”BOOZES”… Every day he needs at least $25 dollars for cigarettes. Five dollars for cheap 6 pack. Five dollars for cheap food and five dollars to throw in on some dope… EVERY DAY. I am not rich, I work for eight dollars an hour. So besides not having the money to do this daily, it’s still just wrong. If I don’t have any money for him that is where the badgering starts. I do not love him. I choose others over him. None of this is true. My family has all the advice in the world, but they are not the ones dealing with this. The world has all the advice in the world…funny huh? Like I get up every morning wanting to come back to my reality and take care of an addict. Does this sound like something a Momma would want to do? Don’t You think I would love to to tell my son to just stop doing drugs. Just stop drinking. Stop badgering me when I tell you know. Stop trying to guilt me…there are times when I don’t even want to wake up…just not wake up. So, tired trying…so tired.