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Life is such a mystery

Life is such a mystery. I have been tired of finding answers to my questions since last five years in every holy book and theories of scientists but everything is still so vague and blurry. I don’t know when I will have a clear idea of where does a person go after death? Can the dead see you? Can they walk among us? If they could the earth must be so overcrowded with ghosts since there would be so many since ancient times maybe even Neanderthals among them too. I just want to be alone for the whole day with these thoughts and imaginations but this world fails to understand me and just makes me hate it more. Now, my mathematics teacher calls my mom because I got a zero in my test and I cannot see my mom worried. So, I will have to study now to assure her which means less time for my dreams. How dare he even do that? Nobody has my answers and yet expect me to answer all of yours. Why?

When my father dies five years ago, I actually had an idea of killing myself, my brother and my mom so that we could reunite with my father and live in our dream house, a big double story houses, marble floors and so much more that we had already decided but that wicked God killed my father and took all my dreams away. But, I don’t hold the courage to kill myself and my family because I am still unsure if it means our family reunion or not. What if everyone just dies, just simply die no more of anything, no soul, no breath, just fall into an abyss of oblivion. But, I’ll know because eventually we all are going to die and I’ll find out then but I’m just curious will my Papa be as old as he was when he died. I don’t want to be older than my father when we meet, weird stuff. I don’t even know anything. There’s a story that Papa always like always reminded me of:
Once upon a time, there was a king had a very close trusted advisor, a wise man with whom he was always conversing about the concerns of every problem occurs and all issues that require attention but the king noticed that whenever there was an accident the minister says just one thing: Everything happens for a reason, and that is great! While the king liked the wise man, he was just not sure exactly what this should mean and how an accident can be great. One day, the king decided to go out hunting and he took the wise man with him, and during hunting a terrible accident occurred to the king and he got one of his fingers chopped off. The king helplessly asked the wise man why such unfortunate incident had befallen on him since he has ruled his country with love and be respected by all his people. At that moment, the wise man just said “Everything happens for a reason, and that is great!”.
This time the king reacted with violence and indignation against the wise man: “You have been eating my food and living from my wealth, and now you have only these stupid words to say. that it is great to have my finger cut off?!” The King considered him to be crazy and insensitive, he then ordered his soldiers to throw the wise man into prison as a punishment.
Some people who has in the past sought the wise man’s advice visited him in his cell, and whenever there are visitors asking how he was doing, he calmly replied “everything happens for a reason, and that is great!”. People were all puzzled and more and more people were convinced that the wise man was out of his mind.
After a period of time, the king decided again to go out on hunting expedition with his troops. He penetrated a wood far away and suddenly be confronted by a cannibal tribe who was inhabiting in the forest. The tribe captured the King and everyone that he brought along. The cannibal tribe was actually preparing for the festival of sacrifice! They were searching for a perfect sacrifice for the worshiping and they got the King! The King is destined to be slain.
The shaman prepared for the ritual and examined the King. But the shaman later found out that one of the king’s fingers is severed, and for this, he said to the tribe master that this sacrifice is refused, because according to their religion that stipulates only perfect and complete sacrifices. And that if they proceed with an incomplete sacrifice in their belief- will brings god’s curse upon them. They considered that the King is not worthy so release the King.
With great relief and still could not believe he was free, the King now figured out that were it not for the fact that he had lost a finger, he would have lost his life. He remembered the words the wise man had told him everything happens for a reason, and that is great and realized wise man he had just recently thrown into prison had been right, after all.
The king, returning quickly to the capital, went to the wise man directly and brought him out of prison personally. He told the wise man how everything happened with him and how a cut finger saved his life! And that really was the best in that moment. But the King proceeded to ask: “In my case, it was indeed good that I lost my finger, but, what I wanted to ask you was, why you mentioned it was ‘great’ when you were put into prison and given only dry scraps of bread to eat?”
The wise man, at no loss of words, replied: “Your Majesty, if I had not been locked up in prison, and left behind, I would have gone hunting with you and I would have been captured with everyone else. They would surely set you free because you are incomplete sacrifice, but for me, and like everyone else, I would have been sacrificed by the tribe. So, it’s the best for me to be thrown in prison before this would happen, and it would be the best for you to have your finger cut before you would be a complete sacrifice …
And he concluded with his habitual quote: “Everything happens for a reason, and that’s great…”

And now my biggest mystery is what greater good is that which I’m unable to grasp in my father’s death.

One Comment

  1. Thank you for sharing, I respect your story. Very good questions as well about after life and everything like that. I would consider looking back through the holy books you read. The Holy Bible in any accepted translation provides very clear evidence to part of after life. Not all of it but some. “Can the dead see you? Can they walk among us? ” those I do not know. What I do know is we can have eternal life through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Trusting in Him and having Him lead your life, repenting that you are not good enough on your own, that you make mistakes and sin. Put your faith in Jesus Christ, he died and then rose again to pay the price for you!! Because he loves you dearly and made you valuable, individual, and in His image.

    With your dad, God didn’t want him to die. It is a result of sin and the fall of man. Maybe the “reason” for his death at this time is so that you can consider these things, write about it, and have me answer. God hurts with you, because he made you and loves you, he weeps with you, and has extended grace to give you strength, to let you heal some.

    My prayers to you, reevaluate how you view God. From the little you wrote it doesn’t seem you have a right view of his love, grace, and mercy.

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