There is this girl I am totally in love with her. Broke up with her tonight. Long story short I am an ace student top of my class in every class, even in my post-graduation which I am currently pursuing. I am frustrated as hell, because was not able to reach my goals due to wrong graduation college choice and long term illness after my graduation which cost me a year of my life and I was not able to attend competitive exams. At last had to enrol in post-graduation course which I don’t like. I am pretty straight about my life. Wanted just to finish my post-graduation and pursue what I like. I also am an introvert.
There is this girl in my class. When my post-graduation started, I was not interested in anything apart from leaving the course. But this girl tried really hard to come in contact with me. After a few weeks, we started chatting. Soon we became good friends. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said no, I thought maybe I stand a chance with her. I used to tell her everything and shared with her all my feelings and she used to do the same. After some time, I realized that I was falling for her. I told her how I felt about her and she didn’t hand any positive response, still we were chatting daily for years. One day she tells me that she is with a guy, not in relationship but kind of liked him. We still used to chat daily for hours and I never again mentioned to her about my feelings.
I was not able to shake her from my mind and wanted to talk to her every single time. So, I decided to not to talk to her. It was semester break and I managed to avoid her for about a month. But as college started we were again chatting. After some time, we started talking over voice calls and that too for hours. I was so into her. Then I again told her how I felt about her and she said that there might be a chance that we might get along.
She has a dangerously liberal attitude. She talks to every guy as if he is her boyfriend (not intimately but being very close and too much friendly). One day I came to know that she was having intimate conversations with the guy she earlier mentioned she was with. I confronted her about that and she casually said it’s not a big deal. I asked her if that guy was her boyfriend she said no but on asking then why they were having such conversations she replied that I am over reacting and that I am not his boyfriend so it should not bother me in any way. I loved her so I decided not to talk to her ever again. But she tried very hard. She used to message me so I blocked her. She even called me several times. I blocked her again. She tried to reach me with other numbers, so I asked her what was the matter with her. She asked me to let her explain. She explained toe everything and I was convinced and that day for the first time she confessed that she loves me. The we were happy talking to each other. Recently I proposed her and she said yes, finally we were in relationship. Recently we had a fight on something she said. I told her that she is not ready for a relationship and should take her time. That evening she said that she wants to be with me and is ready for a relationship so I agreed. A few days back I observed that she is ignoring my messages, not replying even if she is online. I asked her what was the mater she had a lame reply that she doesn’t like to chat early in the morning. Later that day she told me that she was flirting with a guy (she even mentioned that it was healthy flirting). She asked me how I felt about it. I didn’t know what to say. I started avoiding her since then. Two days have passed and I reached the conclusion that no matter what, if she loves me or not she is not the right girl. I think she is addicted of talking with guys. Relationship with such a girl is not at all healthy. I have cried for her once that too after a very long period of about ten years. I have other things to worry about, can’t always worry about her hurting me again. So, I broke up with her tonight. I still love her and my feeling is true. Let’s see what happens next…