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I love her so much that I decided not to talk to her

There is this girl I am totally in love with her. Broke up with her tonight. Long story short I am an ace student top of my class in every class, even in my post-graduation which I am currently pursuing. I am frustrated as hell, because was not able to reach my goals due to wrong graduation college choice and long term illness after my graduation which cost me a year of my life and I was not able to attend competitive exams. At last had to enrol in post-graduation course which I don’t like. I am pretty straight about my life. Wanted just to finish my post-graduation and pursue what I like. I also am an introvert.

There is this girl in my class. When my post-graduation started, I was not interested in anything apart from leaving the course. But this girl tried really hard to come in contact with me. After a few weeks, we started chatting. Soon we became good friends. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said no, I thought maybe I stand a chance with her. I used to tell her everything and shared with her all my feelings and she used to do the same. After some time, I realized that I was falling for her. I told her how I felt about her and she didn’t hand any positive response, still we were chatting daily for years. One day she tells me that she is with a guy, not in relationship but kind of liked him. We still used to chat daily for hours and I never again mentioned to her about my feelings.

I was not able to shake her from my mind and wanted to talk to her every single time. So, I decided to not to talk to her. It was semester break and I managed to avoid her for about a month. But as college started we were again chatting. After some time, we started talking over voice calls and that too for hours. I was so into her. Then I again told her how I felt about her and she said that there might be a chance that we might get along.

She has a dangerously liberal attitude. She talks to every guy as if he is her boyfriend (not intimately but being very close and too much friendly). One day I came to know that she was having intimate conversations with the guy she earlier mentioned she was with. I confronted her about that and she casually said it’s not a big deal. I asked her if that guy was her boyfriend she said no but on asking then why they were having such conversations she replied that I am over reacting and that I am not his boyfriend so it should not bother me in any way. I loved her so I decided not to talk to her ever again. But she tried very hard. She used to message me so I blocked her. She even called me several times. I blocked her again. She tried to reach me with other numbers, so I asked her what was the matter with her. She asked me to let her explain. She explained toe everything and I was convinced and that day for the first time she confessed that she loves me. The we were happy talking to each other. Recently I proposed her and she said yes, finally we were in relationship. Recently we had a fight on something she said. I told her that she is not ready for a relationship and should take her time. That evening she said that she wants to be with me and is ready for a relationship so I agreed. A few days back I observed that she is ignoring my messages, not replying even if she is online. I asked her what was the mater she had a lame reply that she doesn’t like to chat early in the morning. Later that day she told me that she was flirting with a guy (she even mentioned that it was healthy flirting). She asked me how I felt about it. I didn’t know what to say. I started avoiding her since then. Two days have passed and I reached the conclusion that no matter what, if she loves me or not she is not the right girl. I think she is addicted of talking with guys. Relationship with such a girl is not at all healthy. I have cried for her once that too after a very long period of about ten years. I have other things to worry about, can’t always worry about her hurting me again. So, I broke up with her tonight. I still love her and my feeling is true. Let’s see what happens next…


One Comment

  1. I’m not one to be talking about relationships considering I’ve never been in one myself. However, I do have experience in dealing with this kind of stuff. Love hurts a lot. I’m just here to say I’m in a somewhat similar situation and I hope things work out for you in the future.

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