I don’t know how to say this it feels hard to say something like it. Every day of my fucking life I struggle with my emotions, my anxiety. It’s like one day I am happy and at the very end I am feeling so angry, frustrated. I am in my college right now, I feel like I can’t focus anywhere, the college is of my dreams, it’s all that I wanted but still can’t do a thing. Things aren’t turned around as I though they would. Almost every day, I compulsively watch a movie to calm my mind, to direct my thoughts, have a good feel and get onto life again. But after one or two days I wound up feeling rubbish, unworthy, fucked up anxiety, compulsive behaviour, angry shit I pull throughout the day, and the very end I want to kill myself so bad. Then I fucking think about my family, only because of them I am still here. I don’t know what to with my life, I feel like a shit.