Being mentally ill plus suicidal at a young age (before 18) is strange because one day you grow up with this idea that one day you will finally snap, turn off and be brave enough to kill yourself or that you will recover from your mental illness and that everything will fall in the right place like it seems to with “normal” people so you don’t really plan for the future and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that your still alive you guess but also you feel so alone plus lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of your 20’s is picking up pieces and trying to play catch up with people who had a plan and you have no idea how to be a functioning adult because you never planned on getting this far, or you never bothered to learn.