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I hate my reflection

I hate my reflection. When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I know I’m ugly, fat and everything bad and maybe that’s why guys never try to talk to me, get to know me. I also know that dating isn’t really important right now since I’m only sixteen but, I can’t help but feel so ugly when all my friends have multiple guys confessing to them asking them out, trying to talk to them.

I have acne. Well, it’s mostly gone, leaving scars which are fading slowly but they’re kind of obvious. And that makes me so insecure that I can’t look into people’s eyes when I’m talking to them. They think I’m being rude, but they don’t know why I do that. Not even my friends, or parents, or anyone for that matter. I feel like if I tell my friends, they’ll judge me. My parents couldn’t care less because apparently, everything that matters to them are my grades. They make me feel so dumb when I get a little low on any exam (maybe a B or a C). They make it so obvious of how disappointed they are in me and how they wish I was more like my sister – smart, friendly, skinny, pretty.

I guess I wish I pretty like her too. I wish I was pretty like everyone else.
I didn’t have terrible insecurity issues or anxiety, that some guy would tell me that I’m beautiful. But then, I’m not.

 

3 Comments


  1. I will tell you something. I am fat too, i don’t see myself as the pretty one eather. I used to be or actually I thought I was the designated ugly fat friend. Everytime we went out to party with my skinny and well dressed friends all the guys talked to them and sometimes it was so bad I even cried because I was alone. One day I decided to lose weight so i trained a lot and not eat much at all (NOT HEALTHY!) I was dizzy and all… but one day I let go of this because HEY, everyone is beautful! I started eating normal again and gained all that weight back (maybe got some extra too) xD
    And suddenly when I was just having fun and not being worried that I am alone and ugly guys came and talked to me, imagine that huh? I was shocked, really…
    Plus you are still young, I got myself a real boyfriend when I was 20. We met again (because I have known him since primary school, he was really never my type of a guy) and then we talked and talked and I did not realize he was actually into me. Cuz you know, who would like ME.
    Now we’re together for a year and a half, happy. And he loves my mushy belly and my fat thighs and big butt. He is really skinny and I look like a potaoe next to him, even though he loves me the way I am 😀 I just had to wait for someone who apreciates me and my awesomness!

  2. You know what dear? The thinggy called skin on the outside that covers our flesh does not matter. Remember what matters. It’s the heart. It’s the heart that takes care of everything.
    Be kind and help others and Always ,Always stay positive. Everyday when you wake up place your hand on your heart and whisper to yourself that “This life is beautiful and so am I” for those who judge they just don’t know the real beauty. I don’t know you,but I’m pretty sure you must be beautiful. Stay blessed:)

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