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I am not good enough for you???

Last night was the night my boyfriend told me he can’t be with me anymore. I’m to annoying, loud, frustrating, not good enough. For the thousandth time, I could feel the floor breaking underneath me. He says he still cares about me and wants me to hang out with him like nothing has happened. How could I? I love you and my heart is invested in you… and you can’t stand to be around me. The time we shared together was so special. My family and yours becoming so close and happy knowing one another. After all this time, I’m still not good enough…. after all I’ve given for you and lost because of you. I’m at a point where I’m lost because I know the only reason he’s staying is because I’ve been depressed. All this stress of college, friends, life has got me to the point where I haven’t been eating much. He saw me cut myself… he was scared I’d do it to him in his sleep. That’s what he thinks of me. A monster. When all I’ve done is give him love. My heart aches and I don’t know what to think. I can’t just act like nothing happened and just spend time with him as “friends”. The only reasons his friends are my friends are because we are dating. But he still wants me to hang out with him. He wants us to be “friends” he still cares. He thinks I can still just tell him anything, open to him like you haven’t hurt me. I know I have to let go and set him free… because he isn’t happy. I just wish he could see that I’m good. I wouldn’t put him through pain like he does me. Tells me all the things I do wrong, all the things I’ve messed up on in my life. All the “damage” I carry around with me. I guess he’s right to leave. I’m a lot. He deserves someone better, someone who will make him so happy. I wish I could be that person. I know I’m not and it’s hard for me to let him go. I want the best for him. It’s time I let go….

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