I want someone to see me through the walls I’ve built around me… 🙁

Every day I wake up in the hope I’ll have a change in my life. Well that does not turn out to be true. I get verbally and physically abused by my mom sometimes. She abuses me whenever my dad or brother aren’t around. Then I go to my college. I don’t show anyone I’m sad. Everyone asks me how am I always happy, talkative, etc. But I want someone to see me through my lies. I don’t have a best friend to share my life. I’m scared. I’m really scared.
But until now I used to have hope that somewhere some guy would be there who will see me through these walls. Make me feel wanted and loved. But I lost that too.
My mom said that there will be no guy out there who would want a slut like me. She tells me she would have never given birth to me if she knew it was me.
I want to be wanted by someone. Loved by someone. Cherished by someone. That is all I ask for, but all my dreams are broken.
I don’t have any reason to live. I don’t know what to do with my life. What to study? Where to go?
Where to hide?
God if you are really out there help me then!
Please.
I beg you.