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If nobody can help me then I will help myself

The feeling when I used to be happy is slowly fading as a time goes by.
As I fake a smile, letting people be happy as I joke around, a sharp pain pierces my heart..
Without knowing why?
Waking up without knowing a purpose to live is kind of tiring…
Alas, never giving up to live everyday is what is gonna kill me.
I need a purpose…to live…be happy.
I’ve became brave for the past few years, making them smile and making them strong…
However, as they grew and became strong I became weak and vulnerable without knowing what I have done wrong…
God never did anything wrong… I knew that…
I have reasons why I do not pray… I know god is keeping all our pain to himself and I feel guilt.
Praying for my own reasons…
I want him to rest so that he will never get tired of us…
This feeling of pain, loneliness, hatred and suffering, I can’t do what god does…
Being able to contain all sufferings to himself…
That, I can’t do…
I try for everyone… Try to reach them by thought… Talking to the psychiatrist…
All of them…
I will live as hard as I can. If nobody can help me then I will help myself…
I wont be defeated.

2 Comments


  1. I have been there, done that. For your knowledge, nobody’s coming. Its only you alone to save yourself. What worked for me was the meditating along with aromatherapy. Overthinking needs to stop, then inner peace comes. There is a reason why you have came to this world, my friend, whether you know or not.

    You need the balance. Try watching Echart Tolle’s videos and read how everything changed when he felt like “I cant live with myself anymore”…
    Instead of pychiatrist, I recommend going to a pyschotherapist or psychologist – Well-trained/educated one!

  2. We are all having a rough time in life. Even I, don’t know if I can still be better. I wanna fix myself but i just can’t. I hope we can get through this pal.

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