Is it weird that sometimes when I’m alone I get really sad?

Sometimes I’ll just be sitting there, and then I start to think.

I think about my future, and the people around me.

Sometimes these thoughts get scary.

Like, who’s going to be there at the end?

Am I going to be alone, or will I have someone I love?

Will I have lived a life to be proud of?

Will I have regrets that haunt me forever?

I just have so many questions and no answers.

I know the things I want in life, but what if I can never achieve them?

A fear of the future and a fear of abandonment.

What a fucking combination.

I don’t want to be alone.

I want to be happy and live a life with someone I can love.

With someone who loves me back.

I want to be a father, and have healthy and happy children.

I want to have a career that I can be proud of.

I’m scared that I’ll take these things away from myself.

I’m scared that I’ll make mistakes that ruin my future.

Maybe I already have.

I suppose I won’t find out until it’s too late anyways.

Might as well keep going to see how it ends.

I hope it’s at least an entertaining story.

It’s my story after all.