Why don’t I feel fulfilled? Why does nothing satisfy me? It’s like no matter what happens to me, no matter how good it is, I expect more. Instead of feeling great and being happy, I just get upset because I want something that’s better. I’m just waiting for that perfect moment to happen to me, but I have a feeling that even that won’t be enough. I don’t know what to do with these emotions. Stuff like what the future holds for me just frightens me. It’s like there’s a voice in my head that keeps saying, “you won’t accomplish anything, you won’t be anything special, you’re just another lifeless corpse that’ll exist for 60-90 years and disappear, and nobody will remember you. You are nothing.” We live to find out what is the meaning of life. We look at it like it’s the holy thing that’ll bring us eternal happiness, but it’s not. The meaning of life doesn’t exist. It’s just life. People keep saying stop thinking like this, but I won’t, because either way, nobody will remember who I am, where I lived, what I did, what I said. Every living person in this world will die and rot. Nobody knows what the afterlife is. Nobody has come back to tell us what lies after. The thought of dying and stop existing, scares me. Imagine the afterlife being a colorless, emotionless place where we can’t speak, hear, move, see or touch. Just eternal nothingness, but we won’t know how we feel, because we won’t exist. It’s this moment of how we feel that makes me and other people stressed and depressed. Life is just years of meaningless moments. Life is suffering. Life is death.
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