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I am a burden

I used to be sweet, humble, fun loving and cheerful till class 10th. I was topper in maths and science. I was a maths lover but the day I entered class 11th my life took a turn against me.
On 20th April 2015 my non-medical classes started and on 21st April 2015 I started getting ill and still Iโ€™m sick. I switched over to commerce and now I am in 12th class. I never broke down but now its high time. Between all this my parents supported me a lot. They helped me, they cared for they did all they can. they used to cry but never in front of me. Today I am alive just because of them. They consulted me to the best doctor gave all their time to me. But now due to my illness I am have become short tempered, frustrated. I easily get angry on the despite they did so much for me. I am have started feeling I am burden, tension, bad luck, trouble liability, garbage which has no value. I used to be topper now I have no interest in studies I have become lazy. I have no future, it is all dark. Full day I just lay lamely on bed. I canโ€™t do anything I am tired of all this. I am tired and frustrated of myself.
It isn’t I am whole time depressed still I am fun loving and cheerful but sometimes I can’t just handle my situation out then I feel depressed.
My parents never forced me to study and achieve good grades but I wanted to something for them. Due to lack of strong will and determination I am not able to achieve anything. Till class 10th I wanted to study hard and have bright future ahead but now it isn’t. I am running away from life from its difficulties. Sometimes I think of suicide not because I am not in condition to achieve something but for my parents. They did too much for me and in return I am just giving them pain. I am not a good daughter.

 

4 Comments


  1. you are not a bad daughter. you are amazing. you are fighting so hard against everything and that makes you the strongest.

  2. Nope you are very strong friends if I was in place of you I don’t know what would I have done try to be happy my friend they don’t force you because they want you to be happy if you will be happy and good and smiling they will be happy for you my friend ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I highly doubt your parents want you to die, never give up on life, you are ill, i don’t know what is wrong with you but its obviously not your fault you can’t study as hard as you would like and achieve what you want to achieve, you can only do what life allows you to do, never beat yourself up because the world and life decide they don;t want you to win, just roll with it and do the best you can.

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