It’s been 4 years since you raped me. I have never addressed you personally like this, only told my story and dealt with the backlash from it…
I was a thirteen year old girl.

You were:

A 17 year old female I loved.

A 22 year old male I only just met.

And a 19 year old who was a shadow and never spoke.

I trusted you, female. So I did what you asked. I came over again. I didn’t want them involved but whatever made you happy…

I loved you.

I wanted to be yours.

I’d do anything for your approval.

I remember the men asking “Can we record this?”

You laughed.

I screamed no.

That was the only time I spoke up.

I felt like I deserved it. It’s natural for men to use me. I’ve been molested every year of my life by men I didn’t know since I was 6.

You knew that too.

I trusted you.

I did so fucking much for you even before this.

You first, strap on and then you’re done.

Them next, you sit in the corner on your phone as I silently cry

I grab your leg, whisper “make them stop” as I collapsed on the ground.

You finally cared.

You got me on the bed, gave me a blanket and some soda.

I was ready to sleep.

22 year old I just met comes back for “finishing off”.

This time I raised my hand ” please, I’m so weak, I just want to sleep”

And he said “I’ll be quick”

He was, at least

Then weeks later I got a UTI

I waited a month to find out if it was pregnancy or an STD, same early symptoms.

I almost died due to waiting.

You found out I was telling people it was rape

You all threatened me

You told me to drink the potential baby out of my system

I tried to get justice

Told the school

They told you, girl I loved

And you come to my house

And you convince my mom I’m a lunatic liar

And EVERYONE else in this shitty city.

Now I’m a whore who wanted to be trained

I hate you all

You ruined my life