I, am fifteen years old.

However, despite my adolescence it’s as if I’ve lived for many, many years.

I’ve been hurt as you have, I’ve cried the same ugly tears, etc.

When I turned fourteen I began self-harming myself as every teenager does, I would look in the mirror and scratch at my face hoping it would disappear. “How ugly you are” I’d say to my reflection. I burdened myself with self-hatred and with every cut I gave myself – I became even more convinced that I deserved it.

I put my faith in others just like you. I was a fool full of empathy and love, so much love I never left any for myself.

Then one day everything just stopped. I felt all my emotions burst into something twisted and numb. My emotions, my feelings, all gone. There was nothing but hatred, and anger, however there was no resentment or grudges. I became cruel, and quiet, angry and psychotic.

Now, I am selfish and unloving towards others.

I’ve dehumanized “people” to the point where they’re more like annoying livestock than actual intelligent beings. If it were up to me I’d strip them naked and put all of them in cages like the animals they truly are. It’s nothing personal it’s just that you “people” aren’t human you’re just not I swear it. You can’t fake it anymore, I see how much of a disgusting pig you are. I deserve to be selfish, everything that’s yours is rightfully mine. I am convinced, absolutely convinced the Lord himself has put dirty filth on this Earth like all of you to serve me, entertain me etc. You all just don’t know it yet. And that’s okay, guidance is needed I understand that. A lot of my piglets think I’m having a psychotic break, yet nothing seems broken.

My mind is perfectly fine I think. I know who I used to be and what I’m not anymore, I know I like hurting people now and I know that before my sadistic ways even bumping into someone on accident filled me with stupid guilt. That little scared, crying, stupid girl was nothing but a pussy. I’m somebody else completely now and I’ve completely forgotten what it felt like to feel compassion. Despite acting like a complete sociopath all the time, I know I’m hurt and am hurting…I just can’t feel it at all. Maybe it’s because in my mind I think hurt is what a usual person would feel if they were acting this way.

I try my best however to not touch the people I started out with. You see, the moment I stopped feeling emotions for others was the moment I was reborn. All those other people I once loved are but sentimental objects now. Plus, they’re not even mine. They belong to a me that used to be.

And that other me is the only living thing I won’t steal from because stealing from (technically) yourself is stupid.

Well that’s my life in a nutshell.