Friends are supposed to make you feel happy, right?

In my case, no.

I won’t even consider them as friends actually. Let’s call them people. There are 4 people who are closest to me in my class. We all became friends about three years ago and at first, it was like a fairy-tale. I was never the one to talk loudly, or express my thoughts. But these people made me feel special. The first year was the best. We all laughed together and made inside jokes. But now it feels like they all hate me.

Okay. Not all. One of them is still really nice to me and we could have been best friends but…

There’s always a but.

But she is someone whom I can never trust.

And what’s the use of friendship if you can’t trust the person?

The reason why I can’t trust her is that once while talking to her, I said some things about my other friends which weren’t exactly good.

And she told them everything.

She wasn’t ratting me out but that’s her nature.

She can’t keep anything to herself. After I came to know that she has told them everything, we both got into a pretty bad fight. Though it got solved a few days later, it resulted in her losing my trust.

Now what about the other people?

Well one of them was never really my kind of friend. She is cool to talk to every once in a while. But I cannot tolerate her for more than one hour.

The third one has an attitude problem. She is conceited and bossy. And most importantly, she is very moody. Sometimes she makes me feel like she is my best friend and sometimes like she hates me. Loathes me.

The last person is the one who has hurt me the most. She was my closest friend among all these 4 people and now a day, she is the one who is the most distant. She is very moody, like the third person. Sometimes she is very mushy about our friendship and sometimes she behaves like a female dog.

There are so many thoughts bottled up in my brain that I want to release by sharing them anonymously with people who will listen and understand.

This is just a start.