As a child I always saw my parents beat up each other, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing them just beat up each other till they my mom just walk out of the house in the middle of the night with me and my 4 siblings and sit on the footpath for hours. It was always my mom who started these fights. She was very aggressive. She always told me about how my father was a horrible person who was with my mom only for sex and was desperate to dump her and remarry but couldn’t because of the society.
All my childhood I heard stories about how I was the only reason my mom didn’t leave my dad and how he hates me because he never wanted me. She made me cut off from my paternal grandparents and my aunts, uncles and cousin, everyone from my dad’s side of family, I ended up hating him and all his family. My mom was also a very strict she used to beat me up of every little thing, she used to beat me up until I would beg for forgiveness, that to for the most trivial things ever.
She would never let me talk to any of my friends over phone or invite any friends over to my house or even go their house, she just didn’t want me to have friends, nor ever let me go out of the house. She herself had cut off from everyone, she had bad temper issues. I remember getting beaten up because one of my friends called up, but still, I though whatever she was doing is right because she told me every day how horrible kid I was and how much I disrespected her, even after the fact I never raised a voice against her or ever gave her a look no matter how she was with me. When I was 10, my parents filed for a divorce but due to some legal issues the divorce got cancelled and they didn’t refile and gave it another chance, but obviously the fighting didn’t stop. I had no one left in my life, I couldn’t never trust my dad with anything nor I could trust his family. Nor I could share a thing with my mom
By the time I turned 15 my life was the biggest mess. My mom only obsessed about money. She made me do all wrong things to my dad like spy on him, break into his phone. No matter how she beat me or how wrong she was, I was very obedient to her, she had me under her spell. She made me cut off from dad completely even though we lived in the same house, she isolated him.
Then came the time when she made me help her cheat on my dad, and I readily helped her because I had no idea she was cheating on dad, when I found out I was in shock, worst, that man was married was married with kids and worked as a manager in the company my dad owned. 3 months after that my mom filed for a divorce, not for that man, but because she just hated my dad. My dad was ready to let her go on one condition that she would leave us kids behind, and she agreed. But then she changed her mind, she wanted to keep us, even after the fact that she had no financial support except for some money in the bank. She knew our dad wouldn’t let us go until we told him that we wanted mom, she properly brainwashed us and I fought with my dad and told him I wanted mom, he had no option but to let me go. He was broken deeply but I didn’t care because mom always told me how big of a jerk he has been.
2 months later, mom was out of money and asked dad to cancel divorce, and to my shock he agreed to cancel the divorce. Still I didn’t feel a bit love for my father, because my mother would call me and give me an hour of lecture literally everyday about how bad my father was. Within few months, my life getting better, the divorce was cancelled and we all went on a really good vacation to fix things, but then after vacation, things changed, life took a down fall again.
My mom’s behaviour got bad again, she would beat us up again, she stopped eating food to lost weight, it became her obsession, she would constantly work out and not eat anything , she had lost 77 kgs in a year, it became a concern, she barely slept, like only 3 hrs a night, she had endless energy in her inspire of the fact that she barely ate, by then I and 2 of my sisters figured out somethings was seriously wrong, it took us damn 15 years to figure out that my mom had mental issues, she had so strongly brain washed us, we could never see it. slowly my life got too horrible, I didn’t want to live anymore, I remember coming back from school and asking my mom for food and how she used to throw it at my face, literally, or else she would make me clean the whole house and then give me food which she didn’t let me sit and eat, no matter how exhausted I was. Half the time she gave me rotten food.
Me and my siblings were going through worst. We were so afraid to tell dad what was happening behind his back because she distanced us too much from him, that there was barely any relationship left. I had sooo much regret for treating my dad horribly, and son much regret for not realizing that my mom so wrong I was broken. Then on my dad birthday I wrote a letter to dad with son much apologies and regret, I know he forgave me. But what I did was truly unforgivable. Still I was afraid to share anything with him, so me and sister bared the abuse. we got Beaten up until we had black eyes and bruises arms, I still have those scars all over my arms. She once took a plate and hit my head with it vertically till I was bleeding from my head, after seeing me bleed, she didn’t stop, she beat me more. Then we had enough, me and 2 of my sister were on the verge of running away from the house. My elder sister was still so brain washed she though my mom was doing the right thing. That’s when me and 2 of my sister secretly decided to talk to dad, we took the courage and told him that how mom was with us, and about all the abuse, he was very shocked, he knew my mom was mentally ill, but he didn’t know it was this worse, and what we were going through. Then we secretly went to a physiatrist who declared that my moms got last stage of schizophrenia, and its incurable, but treatable. So, if she stays on meds all her life, she can lead a normal life, but if she stops meds, it will come back again.
Then we started sneaking meds in mom’s food. An extra benefit was that those meds also made her hungry, so she started eating food normally. She slowly healed, and became a better person, and now she is too much better , I have turned 16 3 months ago , life has become better and I have managed to create a strong bond with my father, the only problem is that one day will have to face mom and tell her she’s on meds, because we have been sneaking it this while time, and the fact that my eldest sister won’t accept the fact that moms not well so we have to hide form her as well. Other than that, life is progressing to be better and peaceful, the beating has stopped to an extent but I’m not getting better, I’m going through a hard time getting over the last few months of life, but I know as time passes by life will get beautiful, it past has made me longer person and taught me how to stand up through tough times making my future easier and happier.