I’m a girl and I have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend is older than me by 2 or 3 years and she has depression. We’ve been together for 8 years already and it’s been rough, but nothing is perfect. What’s eating me inside right now is that I can’t do anything more for her. To understand this better, here’s her story:
She lives in a very dysfunctional household, her dad frequently changes girlfriends and spends all their money on that and his hobbies. They barely eat. Their house is more of a dorm than a home. Their uncle that takes care of them is growing old and disgusting, he doesn’t bathe. He probably does every 2 months or so for reason we still don’t know. Their mother left them because of domestic abuse. She tries to give them money but that’s rare. She dropped out of college due to the financial problem caused by their father. She recently got terminated from a call centre job that asks too much of people and have a very shitty management (Who tells you to come at 10 PM for an exit interview on Wednesday and makes you wait for more than 6 hours and no show then tells you to try another day, wow).
I’m the one living the better life between the two of us, I get by somehow with my small business but it’s not enough to get our own house and buy a car, it’s just enough to buy small stuff and necessities. I try to give her everything she needs, I recently painted her room and added decorations so it wouldn’t look like shit. I buy her food supply to last until I come back to visit again because we live 2 cities away from each other. I try to give her everything I could but it’s not enough.
When she suffers her depressive episode, it feels like I do too and it leaves me worried and panicked and feeling helpless.
Her usual lines contains “I’m trash, a failure, good for nothing burden.” I try to reason with her but it drives me to tears thinking why did she have to have that sickness, it’s harder than facing physical ailments. When she’s like that, I don’t know what to say or do.
I want to hurry up and buy a house for the two of us to live in but it’s not that easy. I do not want to rent because I could’ve saved up that money instead for a permanent home.
We tried going to a psychiatrist and had her on meds before but she found another way to cope, with religion. And it helped her with her anxiety but her depression is still there.
I’m only 21, I don’t know what to do.