I am already seventeen years old. We don’t have a permanent home (we rent house each time we move to a place). The last few years of my life, we’re just moving places within the city. But just last month, we moved from the southern part of the country to the northern part. It made me very upset and sad but I can’t disagree because it was my mother’s decision. When we moved to our new house, I was so sad. Because I knew that I left everything, everyone behind. Including my friends, other family members, my classmates, and other people whom I knew for the past few years.
It’s just so hard. I don’t really hate my mom, it’s just most of her decisions makes me irritable, to be angry towards her. I don’t want to leave my best friends behind. They’re the only people that were closest to me and knew me more than myself. I felt depressed. I’m just so tired. I don’t know. I’m scared that people here might discriminate me because of where I came from or what my status in life is. We’re just poor but my mother insisted that we’d go to a private school. I don’t know if I could afford to open up to new people again and then leave them behind.
I don’t want to be happy right now then later find myself crying until going to sleep. I just want to finish my studies, work, travel, do things I want ALONE. I’m not happy anymore.
Sometimes there are things you cannot explain through words. I don’t want to be friends with anyone anymore, I don’t want to be committed to someone anymore.
I just want all this to end. My life. I am so tired. SO TIRED.