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I’m 15 years old. I’ve had sex with 5 guys

I am confused and I need help. I don’t want to share my childhood but let’s just say that my real dad left when I was around 6. My mom married about 5 times. They disrespected her. One of them beat her into unconsciousness half the time. I had to watch most of it.

I know my mom tried. And still does. But she doesn’t know who I am or what I do. She used to beat me when she couldn’t beat those men. I’m the oldest out of 4. I’m 15 years old. I’ve had sex with 5 guys. And none of them want to stay. One of them is going to date another girl.

One of them raped me and wants nothing from me.

One of them used me because he was depressed after his breakup. He moved states away.

One of them just kind of happened.

And the last one I fell in love with. But he just had his friend text me saying that he can’t talk to me anymore. He can’t handle it. I just had a pregnancy scare. My mom sent me to my real dads for a week. I send nudes when I’m depressed. I cut and used to do drugs. I’ve had many failed suicide attempts. I sneak out.

I’m your typical teenage rebel. Or whore either way. I know I’m beautiful in a lot of ways. But I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I love talking to people. I want a relationship. I’m smart. I just have anger issues. I got kicked out of school for breaking things. People say I need a counsellor but they know I won’t tell them shit. I just need help. I need someone who will give me a chance. Because it seems like no one else will.

 

2 Comments


  1. my life sucks too but not like im not to desapoint or make feel bad about ur self , every one has his own hardships ,my father died and iwas there i still to this moment accept that he’s dead , all i feel now is regret and anger but life’s goes on and we need to learn how to control ourself’s to not be screwed again , i don’t really know how ypu feel but i think that u want to talk to, i’m gonna be more than happy to help.
    ps: sorry for my engish

    answer me if u want

  2. Hey, I don’t know if you will ever read this, but if you do, please know that you’re not alone. Many people feel this way in life and I am one. If you want to talk, or just be friends, I am here, just let me know. Also, it if makes you feel better I have slept with 20+people, so you have nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people look at sex in different ways. I used to see it like you do, but not anymore. I now have a boyfriend who I love and would never betray. You will find love, you just have to be patient. You are still very young, as am I. You have a full life to live! Go out there and get drunk and have sex if you want to, enjoy yourself. But DO NOT forget who you are, you seem like a very sweet, sensitive young woman who loves very easily. I know how you feel. Just remember to be able to tell the difference between whats right and whats wrong and you will be fine. I hope this has helped and not offended in any way, as that was not my intention. Much love, L x

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