Someone once told me that when they look at me the see a pretty girl, well good for them. But that got me thinking about what I see when I look in the mirror, or a picture of me.

When I look at myself I see a girl who never felt good enough for anyone, who has been told repeatedly that she’s fat, ugly, a bitch, and etc I could go on for days about that.

I see a girl who self-harmed because she felt stupid, ugly, unloved, unwanted, like she was never good enough for anyone, and she hated herself. People tell her all the time that she has a big “cake” and nice tits, like that’s what she wants to hear.

She might have wanted to hear those things if her confidence was built from the time she was little till now, but instead she feels worse because they only tell her that when they want nudes.

She’s never felt pretty unless her makeup is done, and she went all out like people do for prom or their wedding, because that’s what she sees on the television. Yes, I am seventeen years old, but televisions, Facebook, Instagram, and all of the other social media things really do a lot of harm to kids and adults.

Everyone thinks that you have to look like a supermodel all the damn time. It’s not fair nobody’s the same or perfect. I also see a girl who hated High School because her freshman year something bad happened and people made fun of her. It wasn’t even her fault or anything like that.

I see a girl who smiles when she’s with people even if she’s breaking down on the inside, because she’s afraid people will judge her so much that she runs right back to that black hole people call depression and she will never come out of.

She’s lucky she got out the first time, she had claw her way out. I see a girl who doesn’t know what true friends are. People might pick on her, but she is so self-conscious anyway so it hurts. People have always made fun of her for parts of her body. People she called a “friend” or someone she called “family”.

She’s afraid to be alone so she takes what people throw at her, but at night she cries herself asleep. I see a girl who sometimes goes days without eating because she’s been called fat, and has been told she doesn’t need that you’ve already eaten enough today when she only had a candy bar.

I see a girl who tries extra to be nice to people because she’s been called the spawn of Satan. I see a girl who’s been called stupid her whole life, because she’s a little slower than everyone else. –