So here I am. Writing. Doubting. Writing again. Thinking. Writing. Rambling. I don’t even know what to say to be honest. But I just need to write about something.
This uneasy feeling keeps bothering me. The sadness, emptiness, burning sensation. People say it’s okay to feel hurt when you’re moving on. Damn, it hurts like hell. And I tried to let it all go. Accept it and let it go.
But I’m not sure if this is what I should feel. It’s almost a year and I haven’t felt any relieve. Maybe I was doing it wrong? Or I was denying all the facts that I really should accept the things that had happened between us. Maybe I was too afraid to accept reality and chose to live in fantasy? I’m so confused.
There was a time I was feeling contented with my life; great friends, great family, college, and other activities. But when holiday came, all the emotions and memories kept coming. I’m feeling okay. I’m not in my good shape now, but I’m also not in my worst shape.
So, I was in between this uncertainty. Is this normal? Should I feel this way when you’re trying to move on? Or what I did back then is not enough? Should I do something about this or should I just go with the flow? Because it keeps bothering me, day, and night. And I was fine, like 3 days ago, but now it’s bothering me again. What is this thing/feeling I’m having right now?