I am a girl but I feel like a boy internally. My gender and my sex is not aligned. My sex is female and my gender is male. I never liked live to be a girl, their outfits their living style and etc whatever girl do and think.

I always feel I am boy and trapped in a wrong body. That’s why I never feel happy. I always asked a question to god that why he did this to me. Sometimes I think that please god do some miracle and return my actual body, so that I can also enjoy my life and can be happy also can give happiness to others.

Currently I always think about suicide. No one can understand me, also I can’t even understand them.

Because of my gender identity I always wanted love to girl and from girl. But this is not possible. That is the reason I feel like alone in this world.

I wanted to share my love life here.

I work in a reputed software company; a girl is there work in my team. I met her 5 years ago. And she was very caring by nature she was married also. She always being talked to me and slowly we made good friend.

We were very close emotionally.

Over the time she shares her thoughts something about her life and lots of. We became best relationship. She started care about me I started care about her, and finally one day we fall dawn in physical relationship.

And the day I cannot forget. Because I was male from my mind so I was flying high. Likewise, our relationship kept going on by 1.5 yr. After that she started feeling something for her husband. She started to tell lie to me. She always tries to tell that no there is nothing between her and her husband. But I always see something in her eyes which was not good for our relationship, and I started to fight with her by saying why you started love him.

Why don’t you love me, and she always refuse me and said no there is nothing like I am thinking. We kept fighting for one year. And one day I got to know she is pregnant. That day I felt so hurt. The day was very bad to me.

Today is the day I still love her. She also loves me but saying you are my friend and whatever we had between us was wrong. We still love each other but my feelings still the same and her feelings changed. And now I feel so alone and love her. If someone read my story please let me know if I am wrong. I have true love about her I cannot live without her. It’s very difficult time for me to live.

Everything was true my love my care than why all this happen to me? What was my fault.