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I literally feel lonely and empty

I am 17-year-old living in a big city with huge responsibility because I am already in collage. I graduated in high school only 2 years. I used to be the person who always agree with my parent’s choice. My parents were divorced and I lived with my mom. They ended in good terms but they never told me why they were separated. So, I was raised with all those questions.

It begin when I started collage, I began to know about the real stuff about life, and suddenly I trapped in situation that I began to think I just wanted to quit. Suddenly I feel something, like a big hole inside my heart. I feel empty inside. I become someone who like to be alone. I always think it is because my age. I have been forced to be someone that I don’t like. I had to fake smile, tried to be ‘that girl’. I have to act like a super adult, I lost my childhood.

Sometimes I feel I want to pack a bag and storm out and never come back. I begin feel that life is sucks, life is just routine. I wake up, breakfast, study, go home, study, and go to sleep. What if my life just like that forever? I try to find new things that maybe I will like that. But I don’t know everything just messed up I lost the will to live. I begin to think to end this shit. There are so many nightmares, I had nightmare that I had been shot in the head and arms. I could feel the pain while I am sleeping. I feel the bullets ripping of my body.

Please tell me what should I do to deal with all this kind feeling. Because I literally feel lonely and empty. I don’t like to tell my parents how I feel because they are dramatic and they will never understand it, and of course in the end I will just try to comfort them.

One Comment

  1. Hey, look its fine, whatever you are feeling is absolutely normal considering the situation you belong to. Solution for this? I feel if I was facing the same situation, those same nightmares, I would just create a purpose of my life out of that problem, suppose If the thing that bother you is the separation of your parent, then try to ask why did that happen? Can you make it any better? Or any other purpose you want to create of from it. And if your problem is just some thought alterations throughout the day, then just take it easy and enjoy those alterations. Because this happens to everyone.

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