I know that 2017 didn’t end yet, but it has been one of the toughest years ever. I was a senior 2016-2017 and that meant that I had to do my best to get into med school, which meant I had to be the straight A’s student as I always have been. I always dreamt of getting a new experience and studying abroad in Europe, as I’ll have the opportunity to travel other countries and study the major of my dreams.
It was the one dream I had for as long as I can remember and yes that didn’t end up well. My family members haven’t been the ones who would pressure you to do something, actually they were very chill about the major I want and the grades I got.
My first term was a really bad start for my year, I got really bad grades due to some unfairness that happened with the correction, and it had really effected my grades. I am usually not a quitter, so I forgot about what happened and kept pushing myself harder so I can get better grades that can help me in my final average.
Second term came, and the same shit happened, I got a 66 in my Maths final, when I was supposed to get an 88, which was totally not okay, but as I mentioned before I am not a quitter, and I kept going.
Senior year passed, and my final grade was 94.2%. I was supposed to get 95% to get the chance to apply in med school, but those 0.8% made me even forget about having a chance there.
I was broken from the inside. You might think that I am over-exaggerating and being dramatic, but it was literally the ONLY dream I had. I never saw myself studying anything other than medicine. I applied everywhere, like literally everywhere.
Three things I wanted didn’t happen this year:
1) getting a grade I deserved
2) studying medicine
3) studying abroad.
I literally got into dentistry in my home country and I can’t accept the major. I got into dentistry groups and IG accounts, and I can’t make myself like it. It’s so hard when you work you ass off for something and all the work you did disappears in an email.
That wasn’t the only thing that happened to me this year, but there’s one more thing that’s killing me from the inside. I don’t live in my home country. I made friendship with new people this year, and I never got so attached to people like this before. They’re basically all in senior year, and they all leave for university just like me.
My heartaches every time I remember I won’t be seeing them every weekend like I used to. It hurts when you get so closed to people but don’t have enough time to stay with them.
I have 3 days left with them, and I get this feeling that I don’t want to see them because I feel like if I do I’ll start crying my eyes out. I always tear up when I text them. It’s hard to say goodbye.
I know this is pretty long, but if you did read till this bit and you have had a similar experience, please tell me maybe we can share our thoughts together.