I shouldn’t care about him anymore. He’s cut me out of his life and I’ve cut him out of mine, well at least I’m trying. He is honestly an asshole to me.
I shouldn’t care about him, I shouldn’t be thinking about him and I shouldn’t be missing him. But I do. For some reason, no matter how hard I try to make myself hate him, make myself judge all his flaws I just can’t hate him.
Like, yes, I do get really angry at him but after a few days I get over it. I forgive him when he doesn’t deserve it. I can see that my absence doesn’t affect his life.
He’s doing fine, flirting, and still buying one of my best friends. Obviously, he doesn’t give two fucks about my feelings, he doesn’t care about me in general so why should I care about him. He only comes to me when he needs me for something and once he doesn’t need me anymore he chucks me out like rubbish.
I promised myself next time he calls because he needs me I won’t pick up but why, why am I so stupid? I always end up picking up, because I want to hear his voice, I want to know what’s wrong. But it always ends with arguments. I hate talking about her, he knows but obviously does not care. Not going to lie, I’m not 100% perfect. I make mistakes, I apologise but he’s always right. He doesn’t deserve me, I need to forget about him like he forgets about me when he doesn’t need me, ugh fuck I hate him but I love him so much at the same time…